The Super Crown Phenomenon
by MIKAN823
Summary: The discovery of the Super Crown causes Bowser to realize the potential for profit and evil plans, and thus makes it his job to spread them everywhere within the Marioverse. ...and also, might as well as kidnap Peach while he's... uh, while she's at it. / Chapter 19: To Booette's chagrin, her allies are idiots who keep getting distracted. / Chapter 6 rewritten.
1. Spread of the Crown (part 1)

**Rewritten: 2019/11/04.**

 **I'm going through a massive rewrite spree.** Commentaries and extra details will be on AO3.

* * *

It was a day just like any other, when a certain, lovely princess in pink would wake up to the calm and peace she had always desired. Her eyes would, without fail, always register the beautifully painted ceilings of her chambers first, filling her with relief. Why might her ceiling fill her with relief, one could ask.

Of course, it simply meant she wasn't currently kidnapped.

Also, it simply told her how wonderful her subjects are, being able to paint such a beautiful canvas upon her room's ceiling.

Truly, she was proud of her kingdom.

Princess Peach Toadstool, ruler of Mushroom Kingdom, was someone who very much appreciated the current state of tranquility.

Anyways, that's enough narrating for now. Stretching her arms, the princess gently pushed her blanket aside and got on her tiptoes, her pink dress flowing elegantly.

This implies she slept with her dress on, and honestly? Who does that?

"I don't go around judging you, so zip it," she said, breaking the fourth wall without a care.

Wow, rude.

"I'm in the mood for a good morning, not an annoying one, thank you very much." With a final huff, the Mushroom Kingdom's princess got up and headed to her chamber's huge ass door. It was a huge, gigantic door, one that screamed 'safety' every second of its existence, one that sparkled so brightly with its gold surface that it might as well as be immovable- yet the princess gently pushes it open with ease.

She exits her bedroom and closes the door. Then, a cheerful tune appearing on her lips, she started humming as she skipped down the hallways of her own castle.

On the way, she passed by a red-haired doppelganger of herself. "Morning, princess!" the girl greeted.

Peach smiled. "Good morning to you too!" she said with a swift wave of her hand.

What nice subjects she had.

The royalty took few more steps happily, until suddenly, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Peach frowned.

She just saw something she wasn't sure she should be seeing.

The girl, her palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy, slowly turns around to face her doppelganger once more.

Her doppelganger.

Her red-haired doppelganger, with a crown that had a bright pink mushroom embedded within, with the exact same hairstyle she had, the same innocent expression, the same dress style (with different colors), the same size, the same... almost everything.

 _Wh... what the hell._ Peach blinked. _Wait wait wait wait wait... No. What. The. Hell. She looks just like me._ Unaware of the princess' sharp gaze, the (rather cute) doppelganger was dusting- well, _dust_ \- off a hanging picture frame, humming a different but equally cheerful tune to herself. _Did I have a sister? Is she my sister? Is she a... long lost sister?_ The questions began piling up in her head.

But honestly? That sounded like a stupid plot detail that someone crammed into a story just for original character purposes.

And Peach really didn't have the time for that. _No, no way. I don't have any sister, no sir._ Peach narrowed her eyes. _The hell is this girl? I'm not sharing my castle with some bitch ass bimbo showing up out of nowhere in my castle one day._ Gee whiz, look at that. Our princess has a foul-mouthed mind. _You're not helping._ That's my duty as the narration, yes.

Staring for a short while longer, Peach focused on the doppelganger's duties. _...she's... cleaning?_ "...pardon me," she said, getting the clone's attention. "May I ask who you are? Or... uh, what you're doing? ...in my castle?"

"..." Said doppelganger stares back for a short while, before a huge grin forms. Then she laughs out loud. Uh, to you Internet junkies, that's what the online jargon LOL stands for. Laugh-out-loud. You got that? The doppelganger lol'ed. (I know, I know. What a lousy/helpful narrator I am. Merci beaucopu, bravo, encore. Stop throwing tomatoes.) "Oh, man!" she suddenly said. "This thing works wonders!"

"...?" Peach was confused as the girl reached up to her own crown, the crown with the weird pink mushroom embedded within. _What?_

Then, as the doppelganger removed her own crown, a cloud of smoke exploded from the girl's body. Clearly not expecting any magician gimmick happening, Peach jumped back and temporarily lost her throat power, coughing and wheezing as she began swatting the smoke away with her hands.

And when the smokes faded away completely... a Toad stood in front of her, with that same crown. "Hey, Princess! It's me! The Toad in charge of cleaning this area!"

Sometimes, the girl wondered whether it was possible for someone's eye sockets to widen so much that their eyeballs fall out.

Her answer came to her at this moment, when her eyes widened so much, but all she felt was pure confusion.

"What."

The Toad laughed more, and handed over the crown to the princess. "Yeah! You see, this is apparently called a Super Crown!" he... she... it (do Toads have gender? Toads and Toadette are a mystery, to me...) said. (Ah, whatever. I'll stick with 'him'.) "By putting these on, you can transform into a doppelganger of you!"

That only brought more questions to her. Firstly... "Why!?" she yelled exasperatedly. Secondly... "Why me!?" And thirdly... "What the hell is a Super Crown!?"

"Uh. It's... it's this thing, princess," the Toad said, gesturing to the crown in his hands. "Are your eyes and ears okay? I just told you..."

"I know that!" Peach hissed, grabbing the crown from her subject. _What the hell? I've never even heard of this bullshit!_ she thought in her mind, examining the crown in her hands. _How is this thing even related to me at all?_ Truly, it was baffling- how did this random, new power-up relate to her at all?

How come she has never heard of it? Was this some sort of conspiracy plot to produce clones of Peach?

Who the hell would come up with such a disgusting idea?

...Peach felt chills go down her spine. _No, no. Even that asshole wouldn't go this far..._ she thought.

"...but okay, why me specifically?" she asked.

The Toad shrugged. "I dunno." Talk about useless. "It's a big hit with the world right now, though."

Peach sighed. This was _not_ the best of mornings for her to wake up to. Rather, this was one of the stupidest mornings for her to wake up to. "Whatever. This is... this must be a bad dream. Yeah. I must be dreaming." She covered her face with her palms, wondering what to do. _Maybe I should go back to sleep..._ she thought, not realizing that 'going back to sleep' was basically admitting it wasn't a bad dream.

Ignoring her pleas for reality denial, Toad laughed. "Seems like you didn't get your proper sleep, princess. That's not good."

 _...this guy's getting on my nerves,_ Peach thought and peeked from her hands to glare at him.

Then his words fully resonated in her head. _Big hit... with..._ She frowned. "Wait. It's a big hit with the world?"

The Toad tilted his head. "Uh, yeah. Everyone's in love with the crown right now," he said.

 _No._

 _Oh, no._

Peach, eyes twitching, sprinted off towards the throne room of her castle. Forgetting to hold her dress like the stereotypical princess image everyone imagines, she raises her leg and kicks the door open. What greeted her eyes was the sight of her nightmares.

A plentiful of Peach doppelgangers, with their differing hair colors and dresses, all turned their heads to smile at their rightful ruler.

"Oh, princess! Good morning!"

"Hello, princess!"

"Good day, princess!"

At such a horrific sight, of several doppelgangers all looking at you, smiling, greeting you collectively almost as if they were chanting something, most people would faint. It was a sight of nightmares, one that would freak out anyone so badly that they'd be traumatized, probably. That was almost the case here, but instead, our lovely princess resolved it differently.

She shut the door violently.


	2. Spread of the Crown (part 2)

**Rewritten: 2019/11/04.**

* * *

When you think of business, what sort of day do you think is best to make some money?

...if your answer was 'I don't know', that's right! Close enough. It really doesn't matter, because there's way too many factors that needs to be considered.

For a certain someone, however, the answer was obvious: the day you discover some game-changing item! Bonus points if it transforms you into a princess. More bonus points if it's a specific princess that everyone loves. And even _more_ bonus points if it doesn't change the color palette to match that princess, because let's face it- copyright laws or whatever shticks are complicated.

Nevertheless, on this fine and lovely day, managing her stall stacked with several Super Crowns, grinning happily at her successful business, was our lovely princess... except she had horns.

And a black dress.

And several spiked bracelets/bangles/something.

And a green, spiky shell stuck to her lower back, just above her butt.

(Ah, were you expecting some perverted comment on that butt? Sorry, I'm not suicidal enough to bait someone into leading an army against me and accusing me of random perversion. Then again, writing this in might also be troublesome. Hmm... oh well. I'm too lazy to remove this. (Wow.))

"You know, you could just not make that sort of remark in the first place," the girl, who was definitely not Princess Peach, said.

Don't tell me how to write my shit, B-

"Hey! No spoilers!"

...well, I do agree with that view, so I'll refrain myself from stating who you are, but I'm sure everyone already knows.

"Whatever. Get lost! My next customers are coming!" the girl whispers with a grin. She just _knew_ this was her best idea yet!

Some random Toad showed up and examined the sign. "...crowns that will turn you into the princess?" he asked in that annoying, high-pitched voice we all know and love. (If you somehow can't imagine it, go watch chuggaaconroy's first episode playthrough of Super Mario Galaxy 2. That madman voiced every Toad he could in the opening playthrough of the game! Kuddos, lad. Kuddos.) "...seems fishy."

"Trust me, it's not fishy nor chickeny nor whatever meat you can think of at all!" the girl said. She pointed to the crown on her head, embedded with a similar, mysterious pink shroom. "See this? Even I'm wearing it! And I'm not the princess!"

The Toad blinked. "...huh. I was wondering why the princess was doing business and looking so... goth."

"Well, at least you didn't say emo," the girl said. "...are those the same thing?"

"I dunno."

"Anyways, don't you want to buy one?" the girl asked. "Buy your own and become the princess you've always dreamed of being, just for two hundred coins!"

The Toad rubbed his chin. "Hmm... I dunno. I've always wanted to be a construction worker..."

"Princesses can be construction workers too!" the girl yelled. "Are you being sexist? Are you saying girls can't do construction jobs!?"

"W-what!? No! I'm not..."

"Put this thing on!" the girl said and slammed a new crown onto the Toad, who almost screamed when his body exploded with smoke. Within a few seconds, he had become a she. The now-doppelganger looked around her blue dress and silky red hair, then did a twirl. "What do you think?"

The Toad broke into a smile. "W-wow... this actually feels nice... I'll take it!"

After a short payment session, the Toad waved to not-Peach and walked away. Not-Peach grinned, her hand curling into fists. "Yes! Another one sold! I am a fucking genius!" Whoa there, pardner. Keep it PG. "Fuck off, I'm doing great!" Sheesh.

Suddenly, she heard familiar voices clearing their throat, and looked up.

Who else but two dorky plumbers with mustaches to ruin her day? "Gack! Mario and Green 'Stache!?"

The recognition caught the two by surprise. Mario and Luigi exchanged glances. "...you know her?" Luigi asked.

Mario shrugged. "I don't-a think so..." he said with a frown. _Gack? Didn't think I'd hear-a that being said out loud..._

"Of course you don't!" Not-Peach hissed. "And it should stay that way- you're ruining my business! Get lost! Scram! Shoo, shoo!"

Asides from the fact that she was trying to shoo them away like some sort of feral beast, Luigi was more curious about what she had said than her appearance. "...there's-a no one around," he pointed out.

"Not with you two around!" Not-Peach yelled. "You're scaring everyone away or something!"

"...right." Mario tilted his head. "So... uh... you're not-a the princess, right?"

"Of course not. She wouldn't dress herself with black, that's just cringe-worthy for her." Not-Peach rolled her eyes. "Especially not after that Shadow Queen business."

"Oh..." Luigi muttered. _I thought she was-a going through an emo phase..._

The two plumbers blinked. "...wait, how do you-"

"Anyways!" Not-Peach cut them off, unaware that she, a complete stranger (as of this point) to them, shouldn't know about that incident. "Want to try these out?"

"Try-a... what?" Mario asked.

Not-Peach grinned and gestured behind her. "These! The Super Crowns!" she said. "They're awesome, and they can transform you into basically Princess Peach!" she then leaned closer to them, to whisper, "With a different color palette, of course, since copyright's a bitch."

 _Does copyright apply to real life identity...?_ Mario and Luigi both wondered. The plumber in red then rubbed his chin. "Hmm... these aren't... illegal, are they?" he asked. "I've never seen these-a crowns before... much less even-a heard of it..."

"Nah, don't worry about that," Not-Peach said. "I just discovered them recently. Yep, me. Thank me later, boys."

"...I smell a lie," Luigi muttered.

"Shove it, Green 'Stache!" the black-dressed princess hissed. "Anyways, hurry it up, will you? There are millions waiting for me!"

Mario looked behind him, where uninterested Mushroom Kingdom citizens and some notable Peach doppelgangers lingered around the area, but weren't lining up. "Uhh... sure."

Luigi, however, felt his brain getting to work. _Wait... Green 'Stache... that sounds-a like...!_ His eyes widened, and he jumped back. "B-Bowser has a daughter!?"

Mario and Not-Peach looked at him quizzically. "What?" the princess said.

"Luigi," Mario said, "we've met-a Wendy many times already. Where is this even-a coming from?" he asked, clearly concerned for the taller brother's well-being.

"No, not-a that!" Luigi said. "L-look at her! She has-a horns! And, and a spiky Koopa shell! And she calls me Green 'Stache!" he listed. "It's, it's definitely Bowser's-a daughter... oh no! She looks-a like the princess! Does that mean-"

"And she's wearing a crown," Mario added.

"Oh. Guess that explains the appearance," Luigi said.

Both stared at Not-Peach, who wondered what they were going to do next.

 _Wait... horns... spiky shell... Green 'Stache... knows about the Shadow Queen..._

The two plumbers blinked. "...you're related to Bowser somehow..." they finally concluded, even though that was pretty much confirmed some time ago.

Not-Peach grinned. "Well! Wouldn't you two like to know!" she said, laughing out loud. Hands reaching up to her crown, she pulled it off, and smoke explosions ensued. The two plumbers began swiping around, clearing the place of smoke, and their eyes widened upon realizing who was doing business in the stall.

In the place of Not-Peach, was the one and only king of Koopas himself, Bowser.

"B-B-Bowser!?"

Putting the crown back on, reverting to her Peach-form, Bowser-Peach grinned and stuck her middle finger up. "That's _Bowsette_ to you now, punks!"


	3. Spread of the Crown (part 3)

**Rewritten: 2019/11/05.**

* * *

If Peach had to think of the worst situation that could happen, it would be that the world would accept the Super Crown thing with open arms.

To be fair, from most perspectives, it wasn't causing any harm. It's a crown that turns the wearer into a clone of Peach. Simple. Maybe there was the controversy of using a 'genderbent a guy into a girl' premise which would obviously anger _some_ group of people at least, which would then involve questionable terms like 'transphobic' which I never really understood completely, but hey- the worst that Peach could imagine was the eventual extinction of males. Or, well, of anyone who wasn't a Peach clone, really.

From the perspectives that weren't part of that 'most', however- and that translated to 'from only her perspective'- seeing a bunch of clones with your face everywhere was a _nightmare._ Hell, whose idea was this?

Seriously, at least she was sure that Mario and Luigi, the two heroes of her kingdom, would definitely stay by her side on this issue.

After all, she's the lovely, innocent princess that everyone loved. What could possible go wrong?

...was what she initially thought, until, while taking a stroll through her kingdom to calm herself, she spotted the two plumbers in front of a stall, holding and eyeing their own somethings curiously.

For those that couldn't guess by now, those 'somethings' were Super Crowns.

And Peach, as one could tell by the horrified/disgusted expression on her face, was not liking what she was seeing.

"...Mario, Luigi," she said, getting their attention. An aura of death flared around her, screaming 'murder'. "What. Are you two. Doing."

The two turned their heads to the princess, unsure of what to say. "Uhh..."

"Hey, princess!" Not-Peach (Bowsette) greeted with a grin. "Long time no see! Look at all the money I'm making!" she said, gesturing to... nothing that really showed the profits, but everyone sort of understood the message. "Man, I am one great business manager! ...maker? I, I dunno, something amongst those lines. I don't study any schmuck vocabulary."

Peach could only frown in confusion and, obviously, seeing as it was yet another doppelganger of her, contempt. "...am I supposed to know you?"

"Sort of, yeah," Bowsette replied.

"Right." _I'll save her for later._ She quickly turned back to the Mario brothers, but then her mind finally made the connection that they received their crowns from this shady clone. Then, glancing behind Bowsette, she noticed the piles of Super Crowns. "Wait- you asshole! The crowns are coming from you!"

The goth-palette clone raised her hands in defense. "Whoa now, princess, let's not throw around accusations here-"

"I can see the crowns behind you!" Peach hissed.

Bowsette leaned sideways and whispered to the Mario brothers. "Sheesh, someone's moody much. What's her deal?"

Mario and Luigi exchanged glances, then looked at her quizzically.

"Oh, right. Kidnapping stress. My bad."

"Okay, seriously. Who are you?" Peach asked once more. "And how did you know that I've been-"

Bowsette removed her Super Crown, engulfed in another cloud dust, revealing her true, turtle dragon thing form. "It's-a me!" he roared.

"...it's _you!?_ " Peach shrieked.

"It's me!" Bowser confirmed.

"It's you!" Peach hissed.

"It is I!" Bowser said.

"Bowser!" Peach said.

"The one and only!" Bowser said.

"And-a me!" Luigi chimed in.

The group stopped to look at Luigi, with clear-as-day _'what the hell, Luigi?'_ expressions.

Said plumber in green shrank in embarrassment. "Sorry..."

It took a few seconds of silence for said silence to disappear, as Peach whipped her head back violently towards her daily kidnapper. "Bowser!"

"Yes ma'am!" Bowser said with a salute, and a proud, shit-eating grin.

"You ass. You son of a bitch!" the princess in pink hissed. "What the hell have you done!?"

Bowser grinned. "What the hell have I done? I've been profiting, that's what!" he said, spreading his arms with pride. "I mean, look at all the money I'm making!"

"You know, he could at least-a bring out the money to show us instead of-a showing us questionably blank results..." Mario whispered to Luigi, who snickered.

"I mean, ever since I discovered the Super Crowns- no thanks to that pink Toad girl, by the way-"

"Toadette?" Peach said. "...speaking of which, I haven't seen her at all today..."

Bowser blinked.

"...Bowser, what did you do?"

The beastly king laughed. "Ah, forget that schmuck, she's a loser anyways," he said. "Anyways! I totally discovered these, and since they turn people into clones of you, I thought- hey! Maybe people who have always wanted to become princesses can finally become, and I say this, not just princesses, but _perfect_ princesses!"

If anything, Peach was slightly tempted to feel flattered, but currently her 'pissed' meter was off the charts, the annoyance she felt way higher than her slight embarrassment at that subtle praise. "And you're spreading this in _my_ kingdom, why!?" she asked. "Get out! Go spread this stupid crap in your own kingdom!"

Again, Bowser blinked.

 _Oh._ Peach wasn't dumb, so the implication of that ever so innocent blink told her everything. "...you didn't," she began. Yes, she knows, she literally suggested him to go do that just now, but that's literally not what she was hoping to happen or have happened at all.

"Oh, I did, alright," Bowser said. He put his Super Crown back on his head, once again reverting him into the Internet phenomenal disaster, Bowsette. "And you can bet your beautiful ass that I'm going to spread this to everyone! Because everyone deserves these wonderful items, of course. Out of the kindness in my heart, I-"

"Hell no!" Peach said. "Go to hell! Why would you ever think that's a good idea!?" she said.

Bowsette shrugged. "Lady, when you think about it, it's not that bad of a plan," she said. "Think of all the dreams and wishes I can be fulfilling right now, turning people not just into women, but into beautiful princesses." Peach stared, a small percentage convinced. "That, and it's hilarious." Not anymore. Peach pulled out a frying pan, her eyes glowing with 'murder', and she stomped closer. "W-wait, wait!"

Peach stopped.

"A-also, maybe I could just kidnap a clone of you instead of you, resolving our same old routines...?" the goth-palette clone added.

After a few seconds, the princess of Mushroom Kingdom lowered her frying pan. "..."

"Also, might I ask why women getting violent are always associated with pulling frying pans out? Or sometimes?" Bowsette added.

Ah, well, you see, my friend, I'm not actually sure how often that is depicted, but I just think Peach sticks quite well with frying pans. OF course, that's not saying I'm low-key lining her to sexist kitchen jokes by using kitchen utensils, I mean-

"Oh, no, don't you dare change the subject," Peach growled. "We are _not_ going to discuss one of your stupid questions right now," she said, addressing me with no more care of the fourth wall. "We are going to talk about this Super Crown shenanigan." Turning back to Bowsette, she narrowed her eyes. "You can't expect me to approve of this, even with that sort of reasoning."

Bowsette rubbed her cheeks, uh, cheekily. "Well... maybe."

"Ugh- Mario! Do something about this!" Peach said.

The almost-forgotten plumbers jumped a bit, somehow brought back into the conversation. Mario rubbed his chin. "Hmm... I mean, I don't-a know... he does make a good point..." he said.

"You've got to be- you're saying at the cost of my safety, he can just kidnap a random person turned into me!?" Peach hissed.

"N-no, no, I'm not-a... oh, I see the problem now," Mario said.

"To be fair, doesn't have to be kidnapped now," Luigi pointed out, but as per his usual misfortune, nobody listened to him. (And holy shit, that was actually one of the most valid points this guy has ever raised.) "Hey, I make-a good points plenty of times!" (Quiet, Green 'Stache.) "Aww, shucks..."

Meanwhile, Peach looked at Bowsette again. "Bowser, come on. You can't-"

"Bowsette."

"...what?"

Bowsette smiled. "Call me Bowsette. It's what most of the Internet's decided on now," she said. "...or, uh, Bowpeach, but that sounds stupider."

"...can you _please_ stop mixing with real life and stick to _our_ real life!?" Peach yelled- but nevertheless, she complied. "Bowsette, you need to think about this properly. Think about this from my perspective- I'm waking up to see millions of people looking exactly like... _almost_ exactly like me!" she said. "How do you think anyone would feel about that!?"

The now-beautiful Koopa shrugged. "Sounds like a paradise to me."

"Son of a bitch!" Peach yelled.

"Sheesh, someone's moody today."

Her headache growing worse, she refrained from retorting to that and clutched to her forehead. Sighing, tired, the princess looked over to Mario, who was staring at the Super Crown in his hands with a level of curiosity that she did not like. "...Mario. Don't. You dare." Then, she noticed Luigi eyeing his own crown with the same level of curiosity. "Luigi. You too."

Mario looked up. "Well, I mean... if Bowser could become-a beautiful... ( **Bowsette:** "Aww... thanks, chump!") then maybe..."

"Fucking hell!" Peach glared at his brother. "Luigi! Do something!"

Luigi looked at the crown again. "...I am quite-a curious."

"Son of a motherfucking bitch!" Peach screamed. Pulling her hair with frustration, the blonde stomped away screaming more strings of curse words, no longer caring about her image as several Toads stared at her, wide-eyed, or covered their children's ears.

"Wow, she is _nuts,_ " Bowsette said. "Can't believe I even tried to kidnap her all those times." Met with raised eyebrows, she grinned. "Of course, I still want her though. She hot, hot damn, yes."

Eventually, after watching her rivals eye the crown long enough, she was given the crown back by Luigi. "Eh."

"Yeaaaaah, no, I feel bad for the princess," Luigi said. "So... I'll pass the chance. Come on, bro. Let's-a go."

Mario, however, suddenly pulled out his wallet. "...I'll take-a one," he said. "Two hundred coins?"

"Two hundred coins," Bowsette confirmed with a nod.

The plumber somehow pulls out two pouches of coins from his wallet (you can keep pouches in wallets?) and places it on the counter. "Two hundred coins."

Luigi stared at his brother, unamused. "Really, Mario?"

Bowsette laughs. "I just _knew_ you'd love this, Mario, you crook, you!"


	4. Spread of the Crown (part 4)

**Rewritten: 2019/11/07.**

* * *

Previously on The Super Crown Phenomenon...

"It's-a time to give it up, Bowser!" Mario said. "You've nowhere else to escape."

The villain let out a laugh. "Curses... I knew this day would come eventually..."

"Mario, no!" Peach yelled. "There has to be a better way!"

"I'm-a sorry, princess..." the Italian plumber muttered. "But this... is for the sake of peace! Bowser! Hand me the forbidden good!"

Bowser grinned bitterly and handed over the forbidden goods. "Guess there's no other choice. Here you go, old pal."

"I'm-a sorry, princess... bro... everyone..."

"Mario! Noooooo!"

And now, back to the current chapter. Take it away, Shirley.

Luigi blinked as he neared his old mansion, venturing alone in the not-so-scary-anymore woods.

"...I don't-a think that was how it went," he said. "Have you been watching criminal dramas?"

No, but it's not technically wrong, you have to admit.

"It's a completely different atmosphere you put into that-a recap," Luigi said.

And it's beautiful!

The plumber in green shrugged. "Whatever you say."

A moment of silence ensued.

"Wait, who's-a Shirley?"

Bitch, respect the fourth wall.

"Sheesh. Moody much." With nothing better to do, he eventually reached the premises of his spooky, scary mansion, and pushed the door open. Images of his genderbent brother flashed across his mind. "Well, at least he looked-a good... no, wait, that's-a gay, I think." And incest, too, so I hope I don't get bashed on Twitter for this. "Can't-a be that bad."

He entered his spooky, scary mansion, that sent shivers down his spine.

Putting his cap on one of his night stands (I'm pretty sure that's not the proper term for it, since it sounds so wrong, but I'll leave it at that) and walked over to a couch. An adorable, spectral puppy ran through the walls, into the room, and barked playfully at him. "Oh, Polterpup!" he greeted. Speaking of which, have you played Luigi's Mansion 3 yet? God, all those new recorded lines. Luigi is such a pure boy. "I think you'd get-a more readers if you stopped getting distracted from narrating so much." Oh, great. He's lecturing me on how to write. Bad Luigi. "Just-a saying."

Nevertheless, he tiredly sat back on the couch.

"Man, I'm-a tired," he murmured, despite it literally being morning.

Suddenly, an unknown girl happened to walk into the living room. She froze upon seeing Luigi, her white, beautiful hair wavering until it similarly came to a stop. "Ack! Luigi!? You're home!" the girl, who he didn't recognize but didn't mind, shrieked.

Luigi shrugged. "Yep. I'm-a back."

She waited for him to do, well, something, but nothing happened. Smiling nervously, she waved. "Uh, yeah. Welcome home, Luigi..." she said. "I... must get going now, yeah." As quickly as she suddenly appeared, she disappeared behind the walls.

The plumber in green shrugged. "Such a hurry... and such a cute girl." He then hummed to himself, slowly becoming one with the sofa he sat on...

His eyes faded to black, his consciousness going quiet, the warmth enveloping his-

"Wait! No!" he yelled and sat straight up. "Who was-a that!?"

Going by the girl's appearance, it wasn't too hard to figure it out. She looked like Princess Peach, but with white hair, white dress, purple eyes, and wore a slightly familiar crown embedded with some sort of pink fungi. And she floated and traveled through walls like a ghost, so...

Luigi blinked.

"Stars damn it, Bowser."

He jumped into action immediately, grabbing his hat (because obviously that's the number one priority when there's a stranger girl in your mansion), patted Polterpup on the head (because obviously that's the number two priority when there's a stranger girl in your mansion), grabbed his magical vacuum cleaner (because that's the number three priority when there's a stranger girl in your mansion), and then ran towards the direction the ghost girl went.

...and ran into the wall.

"Ow."

Speaking of which, what model is his Poltergust? 3000? 4000? ...5000? I'm not exactly sure, because it changes every time and it's ridiculous. I haven't completely watched playthrough of Luigi's Mansion 3 yet, so I'm not sure myself. I'd remove this narration part, but I wanted to keep it because why not? But yeah, the game's out now. Go check it out or something. Back to you, Shirley.

He got up, rubbed his humongous nose, then properly ran through the open exit. To his surprise, the ghost girl had been waiting to see if he was going to give chase. Upon him coming into her view, the girl eeped (that's not a word) and resumed her escape.

As the brave hunter he was, Luigi gave chase.

I mean, who else to call when there's ghosts in your house? Who you gonna call? Ghostbu-

"I need-a concentration!" Luigi yelled.

Oh, okay. Sheesh.

After taking many twists and turns, he ended in in a corridor, running down a straight path. The white Peach doppelganger eventually ducked into the ground, disappearing completely, but bringing Luigi to a stop in front of... another, much more intimidating, white Peach doppelganger with black sclerae and glowing purple irises.

"What the-"

"Oh, hell no!" the girl hissed. "Damn it, Luigi! You weren't supposed to be back yet!"

Before anything else, the plumber scratched his head. "Uh... but it's-a my mansion."

"Yeah, but you were supposed to be hanging out with Mario."

"True." Beat. "Why do you know my schedule? Actually, wait, who are you?"

The ghost girl leader (assumption) grinned. "My, how flattering. Damn, this thing works wonders!" She posed herself in a cutesy manner. "What's the matter, LouLou? Don't recognize your arch-nemesis now that she's a hot, smoking, steaming princess?"

"Arch-nemesis?" Luigi said, rubbing his chin. "...no, Bowser was-a over at Mushroom Kingdom..."

"Oh, for stars' sake!" The girl grabbed her Super Crown from her head, and reverted into her true form... a menacing, spectral sphere with long, purple tongue and glowing irises that radiated with evil intent. "Your _real_ arch-nemesis, you dimwit!"

Luigi gasped. "I-it's-a you!"

"It's me!"

"You!"

"Yes! Me!"

"King-a Boo!"

"It's Queen Booette now, sucker!" King Boo cackled, putting his Super Crown back onto his... crown.

"...are we really already reusing a joke from last chapter?" Luigi asked.

Dude, focus on the hot girl in front of you, you chad.

"I already have a girlfriend!"

"Ah, forget that," Queen Booette growled. "You're ruining my business here, Luigi. Scram outta here or something, get outta my mansion!"

Luigi narrowed his eyes. "It's-a my mansion!"

"Oh, right. Oh well, then." Queen Booette sighed and twirled her fingers around her new, beautiful hair. "So, like, what do you want? Make it quick and snappy, Greeny."

The plumber in green stared. "What are you up to now?" he asked, sensing malicious intent.

A grin formed on her face. "Well, wouldn't you like to know! I'm currently carrying out my duties, necessary for my next grand scheme!" The she pointed to her arch-nemesis and hissed. "And _you're_ not going to thwart me or my evil plans this time! Not you, not your professor friend, not your vacuum cleaner! Not even Shirley!"

"Okay, seriously, who is-a Shirley?"

Ignoring that, Queen Booette settled down. "Alternatively, I'm just-"

"Assisting Bowser with his-a stupid Super Crown business?" Luigi asked.

"Hey, what gives? You're smarter than I thought," the girl said. "Anyways, I'm not doing any harm right now, so leave me alone! Zippity zap zap, dippity doo. Scram outta here, you damn meddling kid."

The plumber didn't move, however, eyeing the Super Crowns on display.

 _So she's-a selling Super Crowns, huh?_ he thought.

 _He's going to stop me, isnt' he...?_ she thought.

The two stared at each other for a while, suspicion dripping so obviously.

...then Luigi pulled out a pouch of coins. "...I'll take-a one Super Crown, please..."

Queen Booette grinned. "Atta boy, you pervert!"


	5. Spread of the Crown (part 5)

**Rewritten: 2019/11/14.**

* * *

What do you think about flashlights? They're pretty nice, aren't they? They're like... light sources, but portable.

Okay, then what about flashbacks? They're, like, flashes to the past... yeah, I'm not sure how to explain that either.

Oh, what about fleshli- never mind.

Ahem. Where was I?

Oh, right. Let's have a flashback!

 _Prior to Bowsette's business in Toad Town..._

A certain goth-style doppelganger happily trotted through the corridors of her castle, mumbling to herself what to do now that she had discovered these super neat power-up items capable of turning anyone into Peach clones. Behind her, a line of unique Koopas followed silently, unsure of what to say. That's right- they're finally here! The Koopalings has joined the story! ...and Bowser Jr. too!

Then, a certain deep-blue-haired Koopaling couldn't take it anymore. He leaned towards the others, to whisper. "Yo, someone has to ask, but... is that really Lord Bowser?" Ludwig asked.

In front of him, another Koopaling with hair the shape of a leak (or something) shrugged. "I mean... I'm not sure, man. He _did_ show us how he put on that weird, fascinating crown, and how he transformed into... this." Iggy said.

"Bah, who cares!" a bald, purple-shelled Koopaling whisper-yelled. "It's still the same person under that crown! Lord Bowser's Lord Bowser, whether he's a girl or a boy!" Roy yelled.

A Koopaling with sky-blue hair rolled his eyes. "Say that again and think about whether that line made any sense," Larry muttered.

Then, a Koopaling with ribbons huffed. "Oh, who cares? We serve the same Lord Bowser regardless, and he'll always be like a father figure to us, no matter what. Daddy-kins is Daddy-kins," Wendy said.

Roy snickered. "Maybe a Mommy-kins."

Bowser Jr. turned his head around and growled. "Our only mama is Mama Peach!" he hissed. Then he turned to Wendy. "And don't call him that! Papa is _my_ papa only!"

Larry blinked. "You sure about that, Lord Junior? I thought we were sort of his children too."

Iggy shook his head. "Not necessarily. Remember, in 2012, Shigeru Miyamoto said we're not his children."

A grey-toned Koopaling cooed. "Oooh. Chicken?" Morton asked.

"What? No, you dolt! Shigeru!" Iggy hissed. "Shigeru Miyamoto!"

And to that, all Morton had to say was... well, his stomach did the speaking. "...Morton hungry."

"Hi, hungry!" an orange-shelled Koopaling chirped. "I'm... not dad, but I'm Lemmy!"

Roy rubbed his chin. "So, like... what is he? Our dad? Mom? ...Mad?"

"Mad lad," Ludwig whispered, then chuckled to himself.

Wendy rolled her eyes. "You all are idiots."

Suddenly, Bowsette stopped walking. (Seriously, with all that talking, how have they been walking in a straight path this entire time? How big is this castle's corridors?) The group of Koopalings (and Bowser Jr.) stopped in their tracks, their voices disappearing immediately. "Hm."

"I-is something wrong, Lord Bowser?" Ludwig asked.

"Uh, what is it, Da... Mo... Mad Dad?" Bowser Jr. said.

Bowsette briefly raised an eyebrow, but quickly ignored it. "I was just thinking... isn't this a great opportunity to spread these Super Crowns all over the world?"

The Koopalings and Bowser Jr. exchanged glances.

"I... don't follow," Larry said.

"I mean, think of all the people who've always wanted to be a princess," Bowsette said. "With this crown, I can make their dreams come true... and I'll gain their favors and supports and all that mushy stuff. Then, maybe they'll start supporting my actions!" Her enthusiasm grew with every word she spoke, and she smiled. "Maybe one day they'll agree with me that Peach should marry me!"

"Not if it involves kidnapping, hardly anyone would approve of that," Ludwig said.

"What did I say about speaking incomprehensible language?"

Ludwig frowned. "I... huh? Uh..."

Larry scratched his head. "Only say things that you can understand?"

"That's right!" Bowsette said with a nodded. "And in my language, anything to do with Peach translates to 'yes, you should kidnap her'! Bwahaha!"

"That's still English, and that's hella wrong though..." Roy muttered.

The feminized tyrant narrowed her eyes. "What was that?"

Sighing, stylish Koopaling with sunglasses rolled his eyes. "Yes, you should kidnap her, Lord Bowser," he muttered.

"See? Effective as ice!"

 _What does that even mean?_ the majority of Koopalings thought.

 _So cool!_ Bowser Jr. though.

"Wait," Wendy piped up, "you _still_ want the princess even when you're a girl now?"

"Eh, why not?" Bowsette asked, shrugging. "It's not like this crown changes my sexuality too. There's no way I'm going to start chasing after men- I mean, by that logic, I'd be infatuated with friggin' _Mario_ of all people, since I've interacted with him the most, as a man."

"What about Kamek?" Iggy asked.

"You kidding me? That old geezer's like the father I never had."

"Oof..." Lemmy muttered. "Dark."

"Um, not really," Wendy said.

Bowsette blinked, then shook her head. "Wait, we're getting off-topic. My point stands- I still want Peach, whether I'm a hot, smokin' girl or not."

"...right."

Running out of topics, Bowsette opted to look out the window like some sort of damsel in distress, sighing as she wondered when her dreams would come true. The Koopalings all gave her an odd look, while Bowser Jr. simply gazed in admiration. Then...

"Wait, jokes asides," Lemmy said, "does that make Lord Bowser a lesbian?"

Everyone froze, and slowly turned to the normally-crazy Koopaling.

"Lemmy, what!?" Wendy shrieked.

"Whoa there, pardner!" Roy screamed.

"That's a stupid question!" Ludwig yelled.

Bowsette roared (or at least, she tried to, which came out somewhat adorable instead of the normal terrifying roar her normal form would do). "Enough! All of you!" she screamed. Then, eyeing Lemmy, she hissed, "where did you learn that word from?"

"Uh... I saw it in the underground library's computer browsing history recently, so..." he muttered in response. "B-but I already know what the word means, I mean, I'm not a kid, so-"

The feminized king looked around. "Alright, who's been searching dirty stuff with our library computer!?"

Nobody said a word.

"...right. I'll get this out of you lot later, eventually." Bowsette cleared her throat. "Anyways, back to the main task. Right now, there should be an increase of these Super Crowns somewhere out there, in some blocks or something. All of you are to get off your asses and go spread these crows around, in the name of Queen Bowsette, future wife of Princess Peach!"

"So... we're going to make more lesbians?" Lemmy asked.

"E-enough about that! Get going, chop chop chippity chop, get to work!" Bowsette screamed, then stormed off.

The Koopalings exchanged glances. "Well, that was... interesting," Ludwig said.

"You don't say," Roy muttered.

"It was a huge mess, that's what it was," Larry said.

"So cool..." Bowser Jr. said.

"You kidding?" Iggy asked, and went ignored.

"Morton still hungry," Morton- obviously- said.

Wendy sighed, a palm on her forehead. "This is stupid..."

"Hey, isn't the library managed by Kamek?" Lemmy said.

The Koopalings exchanged another glance.

"What, so, Kamek's into that kind of stuff? Figures," Roy said.

Ludwig shook his head. "Hey, it could be someone else. Pretty much anyone is free to enter the underground library to use any of their computers."

"But while we're on the topic, do you think Kamek's still interested in that sort of thing at all?" Iggy asked.

"I dunno, but I figured he's way too much of a meddling parent figure to look at those stuff," Larry said.

Wendy groaned. "I want no part of this conversation," she said, and began walking away.

"But wait! Don't you want to know Kamek's kinks and fetishes!?" Iggy yelled after her.

"No! Go to hell!"

Morton blinked. "Morton still hungry."

"We get it, Morton!"


	6. Spread of the Crown (part 6)

**Rewritten: 2020/03/02.**

* * *

Do you like pets? I like pets. Never had one personally, although we did sort of adopted a cat, which then had three kitties, but that was, like, officially after I left for university, so honestly, I'm a bit sad about that. ...oh, right, welcome back to The Super Crown Phenomenon!

In the last chapter, stuff happened, and stuff stuff stuff.

Back to... well, it's still a flashback. This still takes place before Bowsette's booming business in Toad Town.

Take it away, Shirley.

Bowsette, after storming off from his... uh, _her_ deadly Koopalings (they weren't deadly, but it makes her prouder to describe them as such, and it sounded way cooler too), stopped in front of a passage in her hallway leading downstairs. She rubbed her chin, musing what could possibly be down there.

"I seriously need to keep better track of my own castle's layout," she muttered.

A few seconds later, her eyes widened in realization.

"Oh yeah! My pet Chain Chomp!" She laughed to herself, casually walking down the large flight of stairs. Is that what we call it? Flight of stairs? Ah, whatever. "Can't believe I forgot about that. I just fed her yesterday, what am I talking about?"

When she got to the bottom, she saw her pet Chain Chomp sleeping soundly. This wasn't just any normal Chain Chomp, however- its chains were _gold._ Why? Because that was cool, and Bowsette- when she was still Bowser- thought it was what such an amazing lord as himself deserved.

As she moved closer, the snot bubble of the Chain Chomp popped, and the ball of death opened its eyes. It glanced at Bowsette, before barking happily.

" _WOOF! WOOF!_ " Seriously, its voice is just a dog. Don't think much about that.

Bowsette grinned. _It recognized me at first glance!_ She felt almost as proud of her pet as a parent would be. Really, when she first returned to the castle after totally discovering the crown- again no thanks to that pink Toad girl loser- Kamek was shocked beyond belief, and even her faithful Koopalings and son Bowser Jr. didn't recognize her at all. They pestered her with requests to become their new mother or queen, which was hilarious, considering she was actually already their awesome king.

Nevertheless, the thought of that recent memory amused her to no end.

As the girl reached in to pet her... uh, pet, she cleared her thoughts as her hands felt the smooth, metal surface of the living creature. Seriously, don't think too much about it. Marioverse life is full of bullshittery. Back on track... Bowsette paused upon an idea dawning upon her.

 _Huh..._ She dug around her clothes/shell (somewhere), and pulled out a perfectly intact copy of the Super Crown. _This thing... turns people into Peach, right?_ The girl then glanced at her pet. _I mean, not gonna lie, I feel a bit like a monster playing God here, but..._ She gulped. Slowly, she brought the crown inside her cell.

The Chain Chomp (with gold chains) curiously followed her hand with its eyes, equally curious to whatever it is Bowsette was intending to do.

Gently, the Koopa queen placed the crown on her pet. _This should be okay..._

Then, the cliched poof of smoke appeared and enveloped the entire room.

After waiting a few seconds for the dust to fade away, Bowsette stared what was virtually a carbon copy of Peach, but with black hair, sharper eyes, and of course, the signature sharp teeth Chain Chomps had. ...oh, and also golden shackles and chains. She couldn't help but smile, even as she tried to suppress it.

 _Holy shit, these crowns are awesome!_ she thought.

After all, in her possession now were crowns that can transform its wearer into Princess Peaches. Sure, there were some rather noticeable differences because fuck copyright laws, and obviously, to better represent the true identity of the crown's wearer. But regardless of what happened, in the end, she's basically making more of Peach, and if you didn't think that was an awesome discovery, then Bowsette seriously questions your mental health.

She grinned and rubbed her hands evilly. _Oh hell, I can greatly make use of this..._

"...ah...?" the girl in front of her, somehow, voiced.

Bowsette didn't react for a while, before she fully registered the sound. "Huh?"

"Aauu... aai... I..." Gradually, the princessified Chain Chomp (with gold chains) became able to form a word. "I... ahn... ahmm.. I am..." Then, she looked up at the standing queen, tears forming in her eyes. "I am... un... unneeded?"

 _...say what now?_ The Koopa king... uh, _queen_ now, scratched her head. _Where'd that come from?_ "I, uh... no, you're not... unneeded. I think?"

"Okae... oh, okay..." the girl said. Then curiously, she looked up and noticed a similar crown resting on her owner's head. ...master's, head. ...queen's, head? Oh, hell, I feel like it's extremely wrong to say 'owner' now that she's not a pet and is a princessified... humanoid... girl. "Whad... what's... that?" she asked.

"This? Oh." Bowsette grinned and took off her crown, reverting to the giant monstrous form (normal form) he had prior. "It's something I totally discovered a while ago. The Super Crown!"

"Shoo... Super Crahn... Crown?" the Chain Chomp (with gold chains) repeated.

"Yep! The Super Crown!" Putting it back on, he then reverted to his Peach form. "These babies turn whoever wears it into, get this... Princess Peach! ...clones. Princess Peach clones, because copyright stinks," she said.

Her ex-pet tilted her head. "Copyride... copyright?"

"Uh, legalities." Bowsette cleared her throat. "Anyways, all you need to understand is that these make you beautiful."

"Bew... beautifuh...tiful." The girl blinked a few times, before her cheeks turned a slight pink. "Am I... am I, beau, beautiful...?"

Bowsette shrugged. "Uh, sure. Yeah, you're beautiful." As the Chain Chomp (with gold chains) smiled brightly, shaking her head in embarrassment, the kinda-tyrant rubbed her chin as an idea formed inside her head. _Wait a second... never mind the profit. If I spread this... I get more Peach clones. And if I do that..._ Her eyes widened. _Holy guacamole. Did I just... stumble upon the perfect harem tool...!?_

You sure did, buddy. You sure did.

"I didn't need your confirmation for that."

Get on with the flashback, whacko.

Rolling her eyes, Bowsette proceeded to ignore me and turned back to her ex-pet. "Alright, I got a plan."

"Y-yeth... yes!" the girl exclaimed and straightened up.

 _Huh, cheerful._ The queen pointed to her. "From now on, you're, uh... Chomp... Chompette! Yeah, Chompette! Princess Chompette." She rubbed her chin again, before shrugging. "Yeah, Princess Chompette. What'cha think?"

"Lord Bausuh... Lord Bowser, is giving me... name?" Her eyes widening, the girl eventually smiled (again) and nodded eagerly. "Yes! I am... I am Chompette!"

"Atta girl. Now, your mission!" Bowsette waved her arms around, intending to signify the importance and large scale of this so-called mission she was giving, but honestly, just ending up looking stupid. "Don't be a prick." Sheesh. Good thing her subordinate thought otherwise, huh? "Your'e to take these crowns and spread it across the world! Get more people turned into Peach! So that I can take everyone all for myself!"

Chompette tilted her head. "I... see...?" Then, she frowned. "...then I...'m... unneeded?"

"...how?"

"If... if Lord Bowser has enough princesses... will I be... gone? Or, or, thron... thrown away?"

 _Whoaly shit, dark._ "Uh, not necessarily." Bowsette rubbed Chompette's hair. "No, not throwing anyone away. I want everyone. All the princesses in the world? I want them all," she said. "Peach? Non-Peach? Apples and tomatoes? All of them will become Peaches, and they'll all be mine. And I don't throw food away, so you're not going anywhere!"

Chompette recovered her smile, seemingly satisfied. "Okay!"

"...oh, and don't worry!" the queen said. "As my former pet and one of my trusted minions, I'll give you a higher ranking or priority or whatever huzzah than other, lesser Peach clones!" she said. "Ain't that amazing or what?"

 _I'm... I'll be important!_ Chompette thought. "Y-yes! I love that!"

"Atta good girl!" Bowsette cheered. "Now, repeating again, your mission is to turn everyone else into Peaches. Starting with other Chain Chomps, of course! You, Princess Chompette, will now be unofficially the official leader of the future Chompette...s, uh, wait." She blinked. "Oh, yeah, I think I see a problem with this naming template. Uh..."

"What's... the problem?" Chompette asked.

"It could get confusing if all the Chain Chomps become Chompettes... okay then," the Koopa eventually said. "From now on, you're Chompie, the princess of all future Chain Chompettes. Got that?"

"Chompie... I'm Chompie!" the girl repeated. "I love it!"

"Good! Now what say we get up there and start spreading the crown?" Bowsette asked.

"Yes!" Chompie couldn't be any happier, and so, the two ran up the stairs, leaving the one of many basements of the castle.


	7. Chapter 7

Peach huffed. The rage inside her mind slowly dissipated. She let out calm sighs. "Alright... I think I'm calm now. Yeah."

She then turns to Bowsette.

"Thanks for helping me relief stress, Bowser. I'll be seeing you soon!"

"Urk... r-right..." the princessified Koopa king, smashed under a huge wooden hammer, grunted whilst her mess of a hand barely twitched.

Mario, who tried wearing the crown shortly before Peach returned with the hammer to smash Bowsette, now a girl which the Internet probably referred to as Mariette or Marionette (seriously, we need to properly make this crap consistent), shook in fear.

Peach then turned to Mariette... Marionette... whatever, go with the former. "I want to have a talk with you later, Mario."

"R-r-right..."

Luigi, who had already walked away who knows where, luckily survived this incident.

The official princess of the Mushroom Kingdom then sighed and walked away. "I wonder where Toadette is."

"You called?" Toadette's voice asked.

Peach looked around.

A smaller Peach stood besides her- it was Peachette! The real one! The, uh, actual Toadette transformed. Thing.

"...oh no, not you too."

Toadette/Peachette chuckled. "Hey, no worries, princess. I'm actually the first one to wear the Super Crown. Heck, it was made for me!"

"I thought Bowser said she discovered it."

"Oh, that big lug's the second one. He saw me transform and stuffed me into a stinky sack for some reason."

 _I think that's kidnapping,_ Peach thought. "Riiiight. So, uh... huh. Where'd all these Super Crowns come from anyway?"

Toadette scratched her head. "Uh... well, how am I going to start this? Hm... remember that previous kidnapping that happened during your birthday where we were going to give you these special Propeller Mushrooms we made for you?" she asked. Peach nodded. "Yeah, so how that thing spread was that we launched it randomly hoping it'd reach Mario and the others while they were on their way to rescue you. Some just happened to hit blocks and somehow got stuffed in there, turning into official power ups."

"...are you going to tell me you made Super Crowns and threw them and they got into blocks again?"

"Uh, no, something else more unbelievable," Toadette said. "I saw some giant floating hand fly outta nowhere and go around stuffing the Super Crowns into blocks."

"Giant floating hand...?" Peach said. "Is that... that's definitely Master Hand, isn't it?"

"What? No, I think it's more of a representation of the Nintendo workers deciding to randomly stuff this lazy power up idea into the universe." Toadette laughed at Peach. "I mean, Master Hand's not even from our game, ol' guy's from that pink puffball's world! You're going senile, princess!"

"..." Peach glared at Toadette. "...one day I will order your execution..." she muttered.

"Nah, you won't," Toadette replied.

"I'll make sure I do that before you and all the other Toads overthrow me, you lunatic quacks."

The pink supposedly female Toad- a species who aren't gendered anyways- frowned. "Wait, what? Why would I ever do that?"

"MatPat said you probably were," Peach replied.

"Princess, that video literally came out like four days ago, when did you have free time to watch it?"

"Bowser hasn't been kidnapping me recently."

"Ah."

The two then stared at each other.

"...besides, it's just a theory..." Toadette said. "A game theory!"

"...this story is a huge mess," Peach muttered.

Can it, lady.

Suddenly, another random Toad ran towards them. "Princess! Princess! I have bad news!"

Peach and Toadette (in her Peachette form) turned to the Toad. "What is it?" they both asked.

"There's reports that... uh... there's... um..." Toad stopped and looked between the two Peaches. "...uh."

"That one's Toadette," Peach said and pointed to Peachette. "...ugh, you know what? Get rid of that!" She smacked the Super Crown off Peachette's head, turning her back to Toadette.

"Aw."

"Right," the random Toad said. "S-so anyways, there's been really recent reports about someone causing trouble!"

Peach blinked. "...there's always trouble going on. What's the trouble this time?" she asked.

"Apparently, someone's been going around turning Chain Chomps into human princesses, calling herself Princess Chompette and claiming to be on a mission from her master..."

Peach and Toadette exchanged glances.

"...it's probably Bowser."

"Yeah, probably Bowser."

Peach led the two back to where she left the beaten Bowsette.

Except the body wasn't there anymore.

"...I'm going to strangle that jerk."


	8. Chapter 8

Yoshi was strolling down the plains nonchalantly, humming the Yoshi Island theme. Which theme? Who knows, pick whatever in your mind.

He then yawned. _Boy, it sure is a peaceful day,_ he thought.

 _...a bit too peaceful._

Suddenly, he screamed as a giant turtle dinosaur thing silhouette jumped out from behind a pipe.

"WHAT THE- i- it's you!" Yoshi screamed.

"It's me!" Bowser said.

"You!" Yoshi said.

"I!" Bowser said.

"Bowser!" Yoshi said.

"The one and oh, for the love of... we already did that skit," Bowser said with a bored tone.

Yoshi took some steps back. "W-w-what are you doing here!?" he exclaimed. You see, after some recent incidents involving who else but Bowser, Yoshi came to a shocking conclusion that his friends don't seem to realize- Bowser was getting a bit more clever than he should be. Yoshi heard before, that one time Bowser almost died, and his body became giant as a bodily response. He then heard some later time that Bowser had apparently jumped off into a deep pit in a fit of rage, almost died, and became a giant.

At least, that's what others think.

Yoshi realized that, perhaps, there was actually a small chance that Bowser might have knew about his body's self-defense function and jumped off to activate that on purpose. Maybe, just maybe, Bowser was...

 _...why am I thinking all that now?_ Yoshi suddenly thought. _I'm about to die, forget all that stuff._

Suddenly, Bowser patted Yoshi's shoulder, to his confusion. "Have you ever... wanted to be a princess?" Bowser asked.

"I... uh... huh?" the green dinosaur thing muttered.

"Well, don't worry!" Bowser exclaimed. "For you, I have... a Super Crown!" He took out a Super Crown power up and presented it to Yoshi. "That's right! With a normal crown, you can't become a princess. But with a Super Crown, you have all the power to become a princess!"

"Uh... okay?"

Bowser smiled. "It's for everyone!"

He then put it on Yoshi's head. "H-hey, what the-" Yoshi voiced before a puff of smoke took over he area, and next thing he knew, he was a girl. A princess girl. "What the hell!?"

Bowser then began pulling out Super Crowns and tossing them everywhere. "It's for you! For the child! For your grandma! For your parents! For your girlfriend! For the milkman! For the pedophile!" He pointed to Yoshi. "For you again! For YOU again!" Then he put on a Super Crown himself, becoming Bowsette. "For me!" He threw a Super Crown towards a tree. "For the tree! For EVERYONE! So get your Super Duper Pooper Crakricrew Crown today!"

Yoshi blinked.

Bowsette stared back.

"...did you just blatantly copied SirPelo's shirt adver-"

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Bowsette exclaimed and kicked Princess Yoshiette away.

"Awawawa..." With that, Yoshiette was gone.

Bowsette sighed with relief and wiped her sweat away. "Phew. Almost got caught copying stuff that are better on video than text there," she muttered. "...wait, drats. I forgot to tell Yoshi to spread the Super Crowns to all Yoshi's."

She then looked around to see more blocks. More Yoshi's could probably show up from eggs hidden in blocks, but...

"...yeah, they're not likely to listen to me any more than Yoshi anyways..." she said.

Then she spotted another familiar castle from some distance away. It was one of her many, many castles- seriously, how rich was this dude?

Bowsette smiled. "Hey, didn't I used to have a Yoshi captured somewhere...?" she said.

So she walked towards her castle

Inside, the interior was extremely clean and polished. It almost felt like evil with a touch of hygiene. (If that made any sense for you, you're weird.)

Bowsette saw a doorway leading down to an underground room. "Wait... I wonder if I left anyone in charge of the prisoners here before I left and forget them for who knows how long," she said to herself. "It'd be quite horrible if somehow no one was here to feed them and they all... starved. Brrr."

The princessified Koopa king walked down the steps. She reached the bottom and entered another jail room, similar to the one at her main castle. Then again, she has many main castles too. What a loser.

The first thing she noticed was that- there _were_ people here. Of course!

The second thing was that, for some reason, a Koopa was behind the bars, and a Yoshi of light red... or light pink... um... of sakura color, was standing in front of the bars.

 _I captured a Koopa instead?_ she thought.

The two noticed his presence and their eyes widened.

"L-Lord Bowser! You've returned!" the Yoshi exclaimed. Apparently it's a girl.

Bowsette frowned. "Hold up now, who are you?"

"I-it's me, the Yoshi that you-"

"President Koopa!" the Koopa behind the bars interrupted. "No, King Koopa, you've got to let me out! This monster's insane!" She said, apparently also female.

Bowsette scratched her head. "Now who are _you?_ " he also asked. "Also, how'd you two know that I'm-"

"The green spiky shell on your back and your horns were dead giveaways," they both said at the same time.

"Huh. Figures." Bowsette scratched her head. _Why don't anyone else recognize me that easily? ...they're stupid, that's why._ "So, uh. Who are you chumps?"

The Koopa spoke up first. "It's me! Lena! Your assistant who's supposed to be your damn lover!" she exclaimed.

Bowsette frowned. "Whoa, hold on. That crappy movie is not canon, who the heck _are_ you!?"

"I'm Lena!" the female Koopa yelled again. "Or at least that's what my dad told me to believe!"

"So basically you're a delusional Koopa wanting to be a _human_ character from a crappy movie adaption. Go figures." Bowsette proceeded to pull tape out of nowhere and stuck it on the Koopa's mouth, keeping her quiet. "What about you?" she asked the sakura Yoshi. I'd say pink but I feel pink is darker than the shade I want.

The Yoshi saluted. "I- I'm a Yoshi that was captured by you years ago, but when this girl kept abusing me, you came to my rescue and made my living conditions a lot better!" she explained. "So, that's why, um. I feel indebted to you!"

Bowsette blinked. _What a weirdo._ "Wait, if I captured you, why are you...?"

"Lena got drunk somehow one day and stumbled into the cell. I kinda just walked out and locked her in, but someone needs to take care of her, so."

"..." The princessified Koopa king stared at Lena unamusedly, who looks away and fake-whistles. "Right. I think I'm getting an idea."

Bowsette pulled out a Super Crown from nowhere again, and hands it to his sakura Yoshi.

"Put this on. From now on, I'm calling you Princess Yoshiette."

The to-be Princess Yoshiette nodded slowly and took the crown, gently putting it on her head. Then she did the diggity dig dug transformation thing and became, uh, the Yoshiette you see in the Internet, but with a pink color scheme. "W-whoa... I'm a princess and human..."

"And now..." Bowsette crossed her arms, grinning. "I'm going to explain my new mission to you!"

"What about me!?" the self-proclaimed Lena asked.

"You be quiet."


	9. Chapter 9

**to Knight 25:** Well, yes. It is Kamek. I realize I might have made things confusing, so I'll just add this chapter in. (Doesn't answer much, but eh.)

* * *

 _"Gah. This is so boring," Bowser muttered._

 _Kamek calmly flew into the throne room. "Your grouchiness, why are you still lazing around!?"_

 _"Kamek? Well, uh. I dunno. I'm bored," the unsightly king replied._

 _"What... bored!? You literally just ordered us to build you a new castle around here, and you're_ bored!? _" the magician exclaimed._

 _Bowser blinked. "Uh... yeah, guess so."_

 _"Oooooh! Your grouchiness! I've been raising you from childhood, but you know! Sometimes I feel like... I just... gah!"_

 _"Calm down, Kamek!" a nearby female Koopa exclaimed. "His Highness just currently lacks the motivation after many defeat at the hands of that wretched Mario Mario!"_

 _Kamek and Bowser stared at the Koopa. "...wait, who are you?"_

 _"Damn it, it's me, Your Highness! Lena! Your future girlfriend, or so my father told me to be!?"_

 _They exchanged another glance. "...nope, not ringing any bells."_

 _"Jesus Christ damn it, not the flashback too!"_

 _Kamek leaned towards Bowser. "I think you should stop enlisting crazy people into your army..."_

 _"I'm not crazy, you old hag!"_

 _"Whatever."_

 _Bowser sighed. He really needed to come up with a new plan to kidnap that Peach._

 _"Say, Bowser?" Lena suddenly speaks up. "What should we do with the nearby Yoshi's protesting against the finished construction of our new castle?"_

What, she's simply calling me Bowser now? Getting a bit carried away there... _Bowser thought._

 _Then, realizing they were waiting for his response, the brute blinked. "Uh, I dunno. Capture the leader of the protest or something."_

 _"Yes sir!" Lena exclaimed and ran out the room. "Please await the great results of your future girlfriend or so my father told me to be!"_

 _And then she was gone._

 _Kamek frowned. "Yeah, you really need to stop enlisting crazy people, your grouchiness."_

 _"Yeah, I see that."_

 _Some days later, when Bowser walked down the stairs to the jail room, he saw Lena standing in front of the cell and laughing at the prisoner inside- a light pink Yoshi. "Oh, Bowser, darling! You're here!"_

Darling? Ew. _Bowser stared at his minion. "Uh, yeah. Hi again. So who's your new friend?"_

 _"This is that Yoshi leader you told me to capture. Remember, darling?" Lena said._

 _"...yeah, okay. Please stop calling me that, it's disturbing."_

 _"What..." Lena fell on her knees, shocked._

 _"Pft. Drama queen." Bowser then looks over the Yoshi carefully. "Hmm... hey there. What's your name?"_

 _The light pink Yoshi, shaking with pure fear, scooted a bit deeper into the jail room, away from Bowser. "...'s... s-sorry..."_

 _"Sorry? That's a funny name," Bowser said._

 _"...?" The Yoshi's shaking slowed, but she still remained scared of the giant Koopa king. "T-t-that's not... that's not it..."_

 _Bowser frowned. "It's not? Why'd you lie then? Jeez."_

 _"...P-Petal is... Petal..."_

 _"Petal, huh... that's a rather cute name."_

 _"...um... t-thanks...?"_

 _Meanwhile, Lena rolled her eyes. "Ugh. It's almost like a crappy OC introduction backstory. This is a terrible flashback."_

 _Bowser gave her an odd stare. "...you know, Mario also works as a doctor. You should go see him sometimes."_

 _"I-I'm not crazy!" Lena exclaimed. "Anyways, come on, dar... Sir Bowser! Teach her more fear, teach her to never oppose us!"_

 _"The what now?" Bowser asked._ Oh right, I told her to capture this Yoshi. Whoops. _Bowser looked over Petal's body again. "Right. Uh... you, uh. You know who I am, right?"_

 _"Y-yes. You're... K-K-King Bowser..."_

 _"Wow, she knows her stuff. Well then, pink Yoshi, I... hey, hold up." Bowser pointed to the girl, who flinched. "What's with... your body? It's almost like you're... malnourished... and injured...?"_

 _"Oh, yeah. I've been starving her, because she keeps talking back to me," Lena said. "Also some heavy whipping and slapping and... uh... that stuff. All for your sake, dar... Bowser."_

 _"...dude, what? That's messed up!" Bowser exclaimed. "That's not good, in fact that's kinda cruel!" He cupped his hands and turned to the entrance. "KAMEK!"_

 _"...yeeeesSSS!?" Kamek's voice echoed back._

 _"GET SOME FOOD DOWN HERE... NO, GET LOTS! WE NEED TO FEED THE PRISONER YOSHI!"_

 _"...ooOOKKAAYY!"_

 _"...what!?" Lena shouted. "Why!? Why would you... Bowser, are you crazy!? She's a prisoner!"_

 _"And a living being, nonetheless!" Bowser retorted. "What are you thinking, it's almost like you're a villain!"_

 _Lena stared at him._

 _"...oh, right."_

 _Bowser scratched his head, then turned to Petal._

 _"...well, even then. We can't just go starving Yoshi's, what if she dies!?"_

 _"It's just a Yoshi, Bowser! We can get a new one anywhere-"_

 _"I may be evil, but I have lines I won't cross too, Lyra."_

 _"...I'm Lena!" the Koopa girl shouted, before storming off._

 _Bowser turned back to the light pink Yoshi. "Just relax in there, chump. Food'll get here soon, Kamek's a reliable guy."_

 _"...w-why...?" Petal asked._

 _"Hm?"_

 _"Petal... Petal is a prisoner. Why... why is King Bowser helping Petal...?"_

 _The Koopa King smiled. "You kidding me? I'm an evil king, not a monster. Besides," he said and paused just as Kamek arrived._

 _"Meal's here, your grouchiness," the magician announced as several Goombas carrying trays of food appeared._

 _"Food exists to be eaten, not kept away," Bowser said. "Now how about we all have a feast here?"_

 _All the Goombas exchanged glances. "...with the prisoner?" one asked._

 _"Sure, why not? She's been starved, and that's a major no-no!"_

 _"...uh, alright."_

 _Petal watched as the door to her cell was unlocked and several Goombas waddled in, placing trays of food down in front of her. Then everyone relaxed in front of her cell and began feasting, chatting, cheering and laughing._

 _"...i-is this okay for... Petal to eat?"_

 _Bowser rolled his eyes. "Just eat up already, chump."_

 _Petal blinked. "...o-okay..."_

 _In the depths of the light pink Yoshi's mind, she thought that perhaps it would be okay to stay here with these people, who were rather... kind. Unlike that other Koopa._

* * *

"...and that's how you saved me, Lord Bowser!" the humanized Petal exclaimed. "Ever since then, I believed that you'd return to meet me again!"

Bowsette blinked. "Huh." Then she scratched her chin. "So... you fixed that third-person thing you did?"

Petal nodded. "I practiced a lot with some of your Goombas and Koopas. They visit me a lot- we get along really well!"

"...and they didn't recapture you and help Lyra out of the cell?"

"Lena!" Lena exclaimed, but was ignored.

Petal shook her head. "Nah, apparently she's a jerk to them too."

Bowsette sighed and raised an eyebrow at Lena. "See what I told you, Lyra? Being too mean has its drawbacks."

"F-for the last time, it's Lena!" the female Koopa exclaimed. But she still got ignored, to her dismay.

"Anyways, you're now Princess Yoshiette to me, chump!" Bowsette said.

Petal (Princess Yoshiette (Pink)) saluted. "Right!"

"And I've explained my plan to you, so it's time to get going! Good luck, Princess Yoshiette!"

"R-right! I won't let you down!" the light pink-haired Yoshiette exclaimed.


	10. Chapter 10

King Boo, otherwise now known as Princess Booette.

Luigi had just recently, secretly, shamelessly bought a Super Crown from his princessified nemesis. Doubling that was the fact that that nemesis of his was tasked with aiding his other nemesis Bowser with spreading the crowns.

But hey. No one was around, so it's not like he'd be in trouble.

"Boy, these-a crowns sure are weird," Luigi muttered.

"Oh, don't mind it, lil' Luigi," Princess Booette said. "Just put the darn thing on and get goin' already."

"A-alright, sure..."

The green plumber gulped. He slowly lowered the crown towards his head.

Slowly...

...slowly...

...slowly...

...and slo-

"Gee, can ya be any _more_ nervous!?" Booette exclaimed and floated up to him, grabbing his crown. "Put it on!" She then smashed it onto his head.

Luigi felt his body changing, and suddenly everything shined in both their visions.

...and then a boring poof of smoke.

When the brightness died down, Booette found herself staring at an adorable brunette with a green hat and... well, you know. It's just a girl cosplaying as Luigi, speaking by appearances. And somehow she... _whoa, nice knockers,_ Booette thought.

"...u-um, please stop-a staring," Luigiette said.

 _That darn Italian accent is sorta cute on her too...!_ Booette looked around. Then she smirked at her nemesis. "Hey. Hey, Luigi... what say you keep your Super Crown on and... we get to know each other better?"

Luigiette's jaw dropped.

"...well? I think we can drop all our bad chemistry and get along if we stay like this..."

"...yeah... no thanks, good-a-bye!"

Suddenly, the princessified plumber quickly turned around and ran away through the dark, eerie hallway.

Booette frowned. "Darn. And here I thought she'd be a perfect wife... oh well. Give chase!" she ordered herself and began floating after him.

* * *

"Oh, geez!" Luigiette screamed. "This isn't the result I wanted!" she said, then jumped as she passed another ghost who was halfway protruding through the ground. "I-a already have a girlfriend!"

"Come on, Luigi!" Booette called. "Don't you think having a ghost girlfriend is way cooler? Also I'm going to call you Lui from now on!"

Luigiette shook her head, not slowing down at all. "I prefer-a living ones!"

"Damn, that's a shame." Booette charged power within her hands, as a minion Boo gathered in front of her. She grabbed the Boo and aimed at Luigi. "Boo Edition Hadouken!"

"What?" Luigiette turned her head around slightly and saw a Boo being propelled towards her at an incredible speed. "Aawawawa!" She quickly ducked, stopping in her tracks as the Boo flew over his head. This meant he stopped running, of course.

"Aha! Gotcha!" Booette exclaimed, grabbing his shoulder.

Or at least she tried.

Her hands went through Luigiette's shoulder.

"...ah," they both voiced. Then Luigiette smiled- it was a very small smile. "That's-a that then." She then took the easy way out and jumped through the window, landing safely as they were both on the first floor anyways.

Booette watched as Luigiette quickly scurried out of the area. "Drats."

She looked at her hands.

"...why couldn't I touch her now?" she mused. "This crown sure does weird stuff to me."

Then, suddenly, she got an idea that stemmed from nowhere.

* * *

"Princess Daisy! Princess Daisy!" a Toad exclaimed. "Princess Daisy! Princess Da-"

"What!?" Daisy herself shouted as she kicked the door to her chambers opened, the Toad jumping back. "Gee, can't a girl get a more gentle awakening!?"

"N-never mind that!" the Toad said.

 _Wow, rude,_ she thought.

"Y-you've got a visitor outside!"

Daisy raised an eyebrow. "Ugh. Visitors. I'll go dress myself and go outside soon, tell them that..."

"Pft, no need!" a new voice interrupted. The two looked around. Suddenly, Princess Booette's head popped through the wall between them. "I'm already here anyways!"

"HOLY WHAT THE FRIGGIN' CRAP!" Daisy screamed. As Toad let out a... uh... high-pitched scream, she grabbed the Toad and threw it at Booette's face, which quickly sank back into the wall before she got hit. "What was that!?"

"It is I, King Boo!" Booette said again, this time reappearing behind her. "Or... uh... Queen Boo now. Or apparently, as Bowser told me the Internet went by, Princess Booette."

Hearing of this, the princess of Sarasaland rolled her eyes before glaring at the ghost. "And what does Luigi's nemesis wants from me?" she asked, with hostility.

"Oh, nothing. Just thought I should try doing what Bowser does."

"...?" Before Daisy could ask more questions, several Boos flew into the room. "What the-"

"Get her!" Booette exclaimed.

 _Oh_ , Daisy thought. _It's another stupid kidnap-the-princess scheme..._ she realized.


	11. Chapter 11

Nothing happened much recently. The only notable thing was that more and more species were getting Super Crown'd. There seemed to be one fact that held true for all these cases- the person spreading it were doing it either from orders or requests of "Bowser" or a "girl who looked like Bowser".

Peach almost reached her limit of frustration, but ultimately decided that as long as people still did their jobs properly, she'd let that stupid crap go.

And thus, several days passed by... and now, in a meeting room within Bowser's (one of his many) 'main' castles...

"Say, Lord Bowser?" Petal the Pink Princess Yoshiette asked.

Bowsette turned to her. "Yeah? New ideas on what species to convert next?"

"No, that's... kinda becoming normal." Petal scratched her head. "More like... aren't you going to do _that?_ "

"Do... _that?_ " Bowsette asked. "What's _that?_ "

"Eh... uh... you know..." The pink-haired princessified dinosaur leaned close to her leader. "Kidnapping the princess...?" she whispered.

That got the princessified Koopa king's eyes widening. "Oh, that! Shit, I forgot all about that!"

"What are you guys talking about?" her former pet Chain Chomp, now princessified and at some point formerly named Chompie behind the scenes, asked. (Yeah, I had her name her Chompette, but that's confusing now. It's Chompie now.) Chompie the Princess Chain Chompette put a finger to her chin. "Master, what's she referring to?"

"Kidnapping Princess Peach. The thing I do all the time," Bowsette answered.

"Oooh... are we not going to do that?"

"We will, we will. I just... uh, I was just focused on gather some more troops first."

"Ohhh..." everyone mused and nodded, completely believing their leader was competent, despite the fact that she admitted having forgotten about it just seconds ago.

Suddenly, a Goomba ran into the room. "S-sir! I mean, ma'am! Or, uh, sir ma'am! Mister madame! Miss ma'am madame mademoiselle mon frère!"

"Get to the point," Bowsette muttered. "...wait, did you just call me a brother in the end?"

Ignoring the question, the Goomba looked out the window. "Look outside, sir! Uh, ma'am! A stray Banzai Bill is approaching our castle!"

"...why?" the princessified turtle dinosaur... thing, asked.

"I don't know!"

 _Very useful._ Bowsette walked to the window- well, it was more an opening in the wall than a window... she walked to the windowless window and peered out. "Huh. Really is a Banzai Bullet coming towards us."

"Oh no!" Petal exclaimed. She's the pink Princess Yoshiette, in case you forgot. "O-our castle is doomed!"

"M-Master! Get on me, I'll help you evacuate!" Chompie (Princess Chain Chompette) said.

Bowsette gave them looks. _Daheck? It's not_ that _bad._

Princess Booette (King Boo, super crown'd), who had been sitting at the table and rolling his... her eyes the entire time, snickered. "Y'all crazy subordinates."

"Shut up, ghost!" Bowsette's two loyal minions turned to her. "L-Lord Bowser! / M-Master!"

Their leader grinned. "Nah, it's fine. Good muscle practice for me, too!" she said, to the others' confusion. Suddenly, she jumped out the window, shocking them all (except Booette). They rushed to the window to find Bowsette using her princess dress to float, just like Peach did in the Smash games and that other heroine Peach game. "I _knew_ I could do it, since Peach did it too!"

Bowsette gently landed on the ground in front of her castle, and stood still watching the approaching Banzai Bill.

"H-HEY! YOU THERE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" the Banzai Bill yelled with its huge voice.

Bowsette scowled. "This is my castle, chump! _You_ get away!"

"I CAN'T STOP MYSELF!" the Banzai Bill replied. "GET OUT OR YOU'LL DIE!"

"I ain't no weakling, fool!" Bowsette then braced her arms and prepared to catch the unstoppable giant living missile. "Bring it on!"

From the castle above, (almost) everyone watched nervously. "L-Lord Bowser..."

"Master..."

Booette sighed. "Idiots."

Then, the inevitable moment came. The Banzai Bill crashed into Bowsette's hands, and an amazing battle of strength and wits took place.

...or so Bowsette expected, but somehow on her end, it didn't feel all that challenging. "...huh."

"A-ARE YOU OKAY?" the Banzai Bill asked, concerned for the brave individual whilst her body continued pushing helplessly.

"You're... not as powerful as I expected."

The Banzai Bill gasped. "WHAT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! BACK IN MY PLACE, I WAS REGARDED AS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BANZAI BILLS!"

"Huh. Really?" Bowsette released one hand to scratch her head- the other hand still had no trouble keeping the Banzai Bill from proceeding. "Guess I'm just that powerful. Man, I'm amazing. Great job, Bowser. Or Bowsette. Me."

"YOU... WAIT, YOU'RE BOWSER THE KING OF KOOPAS!?"

"...whose castle did you think this belonged to?" Bowsette asked and motioned to her castle- typical giant spiky green shells, surrounded by lava, and plastered with emblems of the Koopa king himself.

"...UH..."

"Anyways, since I stopped you, will you stop if I let you go?" she asked.

The Banzai Bill frowned. "I'M... UH... I DON'T THINK SO?"

"Darn." What could she possibly do now, was the only question Bowsette could think in her mind. She _could_ change the bullet's direction and have her fly towards somewhere else, who knows where. But that'd be mean, and Bowsette wasn't a jerk.

...well, asides from the rivalry she had with Mario, but nobody counted that. Right? Right. Bowsette's just a softie.

"...hey, Petal! Chompie!" Bowsette called.

"Y-yes!?" the two replied from way above.

The horned girl tilted her head. "Throw me another Super Crown!"

"Y-yes, Lord Bowser! / Master!"

Bowsette caught the Super Crown with one hand, and grinned to the Banzai Bill. "Hey, you. Join my ranks, and you'll receive great stuff!"

"WHAT COULD AN UNCONTROLLABLE BULLET LIKE ME POSSIBLY ACHIEVE...?" the Banzai Bill asked.

Its question was ignored. "What do you think about the name Magna?"

"...DID YOU JUST TAKE MY OFFICIAL JAPANESE NAME AND SHORTEN IT?"

"Stop breaking the fourth wall damn it, and nah. Maybe, but I think it'll fit you, not that I know your new appearance yet."

The Banzai Bullet smiled. "...IF YOU, SOMEONE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO STOP ME, THINKS I AM WORTHY OF A NAME... THEN SO BE IT. I SHALL BE MAGNA TO YOU THEN." Then it frowned. "BUT WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY NEW APPEARANCE?"

"I mean this!" Bowsette put the Super Crown on the now-Magna's head.

Boom, poof, bark, honk, transformation sequence.

Suddenly, a sharp eyed woman found herself standing where she had been floating, her head being petted... or held... by Bowsette's left hand. "...huh? What... uh?"

Bowsette grinned and ruffled her hair. "Welcome to the team, Magna. We're about to embark on an important mission!" Then she snickered. "By the way, I'm officially giving you the position of a princess. You're Magna the Princess Billette now!"

"I... uh...?" Without being given much explanation, Magna was suddenly grabbed by the arm and pulled into the castle. "O-okay...?"

And ho boy, Bowestte's strength sure was enormous.

* * *

Peach yawned. She was about to head to sleep. The day wasn't so bad, she supposed. She was slowly getting accustomed to all these... monstrosities, these Peach clones that were pretty much everywhere.

Suddenly, some knocks on her window.

Peach sighed. It's definitely Bowser. She went over to open the window. "What is it, Bowser?"

Bowsette blinked. "...how'd you know it was me?"

"Who else would show up at my window?"

"Touché."

Peach backed up and allowed the horned girl to jump in. "So, what do you need?" she asked, then smirked. "Woman body problems?"

"Nah, I'm here to kidnap you."

"..." _Is he serious?_ Peach sighed. "Bowser, didn't you say you would kidnap anyone else instead and it'd still be fine?"

"No, I said I _could_ , but I still want you," the princessified Koopa said.

Peach sighed. Then she pulled a frying pan out of her pajamas. "And what made you forget that I'm also a Smasher?" she asked, getting into a stance.

Bowsette smiled. "No, I'm still aware of that."

Now normally, I'd love to show you all to a nice battle between Peach and Bowser (now Bowsette), but this is a Mario fanfiction. So...

"But we're also here."

Peach's eyes widened and she turned around to see a group of new faces standing behind her, entering from her chamber's door and locking it again.

A girl with long light pink hair, wearing what seems like a backpack or saddle attached to her back. _A Yoshi..._

A girl whose eyes are covered by neat black hair, but sharp deadly teeth were visible in her mouth. _A Chain Chomp...?_

A girl with spiky black hair and sharp teeth again, but this one also carrying a bazooka or cannon. _A Bullet Bill...!?_

Lastly, a clone of her with beautiful white hair, long tongue, floating like a ghost. _A Boo...!_ Then, she saw in the Boo girl's arms, an unamused Princess Daisy with her mouth taped shut.

"D-Daisy!?" Peach exclaimed. Then she frowned. _This must be King Boo from the reports..._

"So, Princess," Bowsette said with a sly smile. "Will you be coming with us nicely?" she asked.

"..." _Darn,_ Peach thought. _He's getting better at kidnapping me._

* * *

 **Yeah, I can't think of anything else, so I'm turning this into a NSMBWii U Deluxe writing. Gee, it's not even out yet, but come on... we all know it won't be too different from Wii U and Luigi Wii U. So I'll change things up with the new cast** (cough forming harem cough) **aye.**


	12. Chapter 12

"Mario!" a random Toad yelled and pushed the door open. "Mario! The princess's been kidnapped again taken to the Bowser's castle ariagaragragrafgrah!"

"Son of a Peach, not again! Everytime I rescue the princess, she gets kidnapped the next second! God knows what she does at that Bowser's castle..."

And then he went on his way.

...okay, yeah, I'm just kidding. That's just me ripping off the script of that stupid crappy Mario video I made on YouTube. If anyone's curious, that's, uh, on my personal channel user/AnjuMakiFTW/ but that's really not important here.

Okay, here goes the real story. Ahem.

"Mario! Help!" a random Toad yelled and pushed the door open. "Mario! Just now, I saw the princess with a human girl version of Bowser and some other humans! She said she's being kidnapped by Bowser and told me to tell you!"

Mario blinked. "...and they just-a let you go?" he asked.

The Toad shrugged. "The Bowser-like girl said it'd be more fun to have a rival come fight her. Whoever she is."

 _Talk about stupid,_ Mario thought. "Well, good enough. Let's-a go, Luigi."

Luigiette, still wearing the crown, peeked from behind a vase (somehow). "T-that King Boo's not-a anywhere near, right?"

"Uh, no." The Toad frowned. "Wait, that's Luigi?"

"..." Luigiette slowly took out her hammer.

"...u-uh, Luigi-like girl, what are you doing with that hammer...? W-wait, can you not walk towards me slowly like that? It's kinda... mena...cing...?"

* * *

"Right, so... yeah, sorry," Blue Toad said. "I kinda can't help this time."

"But the princess has been kidnapped!" Yellow Toad said. "What're you busy with!?"

"Uh... setting up stuff for... a 'thank-you' gift from the princess..."

Yellow Toad rolled his eyes. "The thank-you gift won't happen if the princess isn't here, Blue!" he said. "What is this gift anyways? I didn't hear nothing about it!"

"Yeaaaaah, only some people know about it. Eh." Blue Toad bowed. "A-anyways, sorry! I need to make sure it's finished on time!"

"Ugh. Fine." Yellow Toad turned around and faced the two plumbers. "Sorry, guys. Guess Blue's not coming. But count me in!"

"Yeah, that's-a fine," Mario said. "It's okay with you, right Luigi?"

Luigi...ette nodded. "I don't-a mind it at all."

Yellow Toad stared at the green plumber girl. "..."

"...don't-a judge me."

"Right."

Toadette walked by and heard them. "Oh, are you guys going on another amazing adventure?" she asked.

"The princess got kidnapped again," Yellow Toad informed.

"...again?" Toadette asked. "Gee, it's almost like it's her hobby or something."

"To be fair, Bowser has been a lot more villainy recently," Luigiette said. "Remember that time he jumped off a cliff to become a giant? Good-a times."

Mario nodded, reminiscing that Dream Team game, while the other Toads stared at them, incredulous, mostly because they weren't frickin' there during those events. Nor do they even know about Bowser's complicated body system that turns him into a giant when he almost dies. Man, the shit Nintendo comes up with is amazing.

"So anyways. Uh. We'd feel a lot safer if one more person joins us, but Blue here is too busy with his crap," Yellow Toad said.

"Rude," Blue Toad muttered and closed the door.

Toadette smiled. "Say, what if I join?" she asked.

"...you?" Yellow Toad said. "Uh. Well. You know... I think it'd be too dangerous for you..."

"Um, sexist much?" Toadette said. "Besides, you're a Toad too and you can do things just fine. There shouldn't really be any different."

"But... um... I'm a professional Toad!" Yellow Toad exclaimed. Luigiette and Mario exchanged glances. "You'd need to be human or extremely trained to become as good as me!"

Toadette rolled her eyes and took Luigiette's crown.

"H-hey!"

Then she put it on, just as Luigiette reverted to his normal Luigi form.

The classic, original Peachette stood in front of them. "Satisfied now, sexist _jerk?_ "

Yellow Toad sighed. "...okay..." he muttered. _Boy, Captain Toad's going to kill me later..._

* * *

Nabbit peered from behind a corner. "...hmm."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hmm... who should we leave to defend this minor castle closest to those meddling kids...?" Bowsette wondered as she put a finger to her chin.

King Booette (for simplicity's sake, we'll go with "King Booette" so you know it's not just any random Boo) raised an eyebrow. "Or... we could set up an ambush and get rid of them completely."

The blonde beast laughed. "Yeah, right. No way."

"Ugh."

Bowsette looked at his group of mostly reliable important minions- the Koopalings (normal), Bowser Jr. (normal), Chompie (super crowned Chain Chomp with a golden chain), Petal (super crowned light pink Yoshi), King Booette (super crowned King Boo), Magna (super crowned Banzai Bill), and... a random Goomba (normal). Oh, and also that delusional female Koopa whose name was probably Lyra ( _"Damn it! Not the fucking narration too!"_ ) or something (normal).

 _...did I really bring that Goomba here too?_ Bowsette wondered. Then she shook her head. _No, there's more important matters. There's either not enough people for all worlds or too little worlds..._

Fortunately, she remembered she made two castles per "world" (we still do not know how rich the king of Koopas actually is).

"...hm. It seems I may have to keep searching for more reliable minions..." Bowsette thought.

"Still?" King Booette asked. "You have plenty of people in yer army already!"

"It's never too much, pal." The blonde grinned and turned to... that random Goomba. "Alright, you!"

The Goomba flinched. "Y-yes sir!"

She took out a Super Crown and placed it on the Goomba's head, to its shock. After the ding dang dong magical girl transformation sequence that people can probably lewd, the Goomba girl blinked and examined her new body.

"W-whoa..." she muttered. Bowsette cleared her throat. "U-uh, right. W-what is it, sir? ...ma'am? Miss? Madame? Miss madame mademoise-"

"Damn it, stop reusing boring jokes," Bowsette interrupted. "Anyways. First of all, I now pronounce you the princess of Goombas. I'll be calling you... uh... I'd call you Goombette but it'll be complicating if I give any more Goombas some Super Crowns, so I'll just label you... uh... Goombon. Got that?"

"Uh... yes sir!"

Nodding, the leader waved around. "Alright, so this is the sub-castle of Acorn Plains. I'm leaving you in charge of here- stop Mario and Luigi when they come. Got it?"

Goombon nodded. "I- I'll make sure to do that!"

Bowsette then turned to one of the Koopalings. "Lemmy! I'm putting you in charge of this area's boss castle, got that?"

Lemmy saluted. "Got it, Dad!" he said.

"Alright, everyone! Let's move out to the next castle!" the princessified Koopa king said and motioned for everyone to follow. All save for Lemmy and Goombon followed her out the castle's back entrance, with King Booette grumbling about how stupid this was.

Stop complaining, King Booette.

* * *

"Mario! Get that block!"

"Okie-dokie!"

"Luigi! Kick that Koopa!"

"Alright!"

"Prin... Toadette! Clear the Goombas!"

"Gotcha!"

"Mario! Burn that piranha plant!"

"Let's-a go!"

Luigi and Peachette (Toadette) exchanged glances. "...boy, he sure is bossy, huh?" the plumber muttered, raising an eyebrow at Yellow Toad.

Peachette groaned. "He's even more annoying today..."

As they slowly followed Yellow Toad and Mario so as to not lose them, Yellow Toad continued shouting orders without even batting an eye.

"Mario! Do a barrel roll! Luigi, Toadette! Hurry up!"

Mario scratched his head, confused. "Wait, isn't that-a-"

"No time for questions!" Yellow Toad screamed. "Oh, and kick that Koopa too!" He turned around and sent Luigi and Peachette a glare. "You help kick enemies too!"

Peachette narrowed her eyes. "Sure." She went behind Yellow Toad and kicked him down an empty chasm.

Yellow Toad's eyes bulged. "Toadette you biiiiiiitch!" he screamed, before his voice faded away.

Luigi gulped. "You are-a scary."

"Don't mind it..." Peachette muttered.

Few seconds later, Yellow Toad showed up again, encased in a respawn bubble. He watched as Peachette and Luigi stepped away, letting his bubble fly past them. "...you guys are asses."

"Don't worry, it was a one time thing," Peachette said. "I'll free you now."

Yellow Toad smiled. "Oh, goodie. Hurry up and... oh, wait, not now." He noticed that his bubble floated past them again and was now above the same chasm he was kicked down. "Don't pop me ye-"

Peachette poked the bubble.

He was freed, directly above the pitfall. "Toadette you biiiiiiiitch!" Yellow Toad screamed as he fell to his doom again, his voice disappearing.

"...do you think that quote was copy-pasted?" Luigi asked.

"Nah, there's one extra 'i' in 'bitch'," Peachette informed.

Mario sighed. "You guys are-a hopeless..."

Again, Yellow Toad floated up. "Great heavens, I ough to tell Toadsworth on you punks!"

Luigi snickered. "Stop complaining, King Booette."

Everyone stared at him.

"...what?"

Luigi scratched his head. "Sorry. Copy-paste habit."

"Ugh. You're all weird jerks," Yellow Toad muttered.

Stop complaining, King Booette.

"Damn it, not the narration too!"


	14. Chapter 14

**to Knight25:** Right, just realized you meant Bowser's growing powers, not his childhood growth (Chapter 8 review). Um, so, yeah, usually Kamek's the one using magic to make him grow. **But:** In Mario & Luigi RPG 3 (Bowser's Inside Story), he gets crushed by Peach's Castle (modified by Fawful) and almost dies. His weird body has some sort of emergency function that turns him giant to fight back. In the fourth RPG game (Dream Team), Bowser tries to eat meat to become giant, but finishes all the meat and didn't grow. Angry, he jumps into a bottomless pit... and becomes giant.

1) It could be a reference to the body function from Bowser's Inside Story. He might have remembered/learnt from that and became smarter, in a sense.

2) It could be a reference to Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, where there's a special Bowser segment where he can eat meat to grow like Mario with 'shrooms.

 **to reader567:** it is. ...I'm just half-assed about it. (LOL.) I introduced her as Princess Booette in Chapter 4, had her call herself Queen Boo once in Chapter 10, and stuck with King Booette in Chapter 13. The reasoning for this is literally as I say... I'm just _that_ half-assed about it. But yeah I'll make it Queen Booette now.

* * *

"Alright, guys! Ready to raid the first castle?" Yellow Toad asked. Rhetorically.

Luigi frowned. "Wait. Is it-a safe to skip all the adventures and just come-a straight to the first castle chapter?"

"It's fine, it's fine," Yellow Toad reassured. "Macbeth skipped straight from some random dude to a king and to being dead."

Peachette groaned. "Geez. Like I said, people won't understand if you randomly bring up random references from the author's own personal life experience!"

Their annoying comrade rolled his eyes. "You never said that."

"Just because it happened between the chapters doesn't mean it didn't happen!"

Mario cleared his throat. "Let's-a not fight again, okay?"

The two Toads sighed. "Fine."

Suddenly, the castle gate opened. A brunette popped her head out, wearing a blasted... _(everyone gasps)_... Super Crown.

"Yo, what gives?" the mysterious brown haired girl asked. "I saw you guys were arriving."

Luigi scratched his head. "S-sorry. A bit internal conflict-a here."

The girl smiled. "Well, that's alright. Come on in! You can solve all your conflicts in here." The heroes exchanged glances and nervously followed the brunette into the castle, making their way _safely_ through the hall. "Right, so. I'm Goombon! Lord Bowser's trusty henchman! ...henchwoman now, I guess."

"...uh huh..." Mario mused.

"And, well. It's my job to defeat you guys, so! Let's get ready for a deadly battle to make my lord proud, shall we?" she suggested and turned to them.

Yellow Toad noticed they were standing on a bridge, and saw a golden axe at the end. "Whoa, hey. Cool axe."

Goombon's expression reverted to a friendly smile. "Oh, yeah! I know, right? His majesty sure knows his stuff about making cool castle bridges." She pointed to the axe. "If you'd like, you can go look at it closely, too!" she said.

Mario and Luigi exchanged glances, then went with Yellow Toad and Peachette to the axe. Then the two brothers pretended to observe the axe while the two Toads began wondering where the gold used to make it come from.

The princessified Goomba grinned. "I know, I know. Amazing as always. Anyways, ready to battle?" she asked.

The four stared at Goombon.

...Goombon frowned. "Oh." She paled. "Wait. Wait... wait. You guys... you guys wouldn't be that unfair, right?"

Luigi sighed. "Yeah, it'd be a dick move to just-a-"

"Too bad," Peachette said and quickly pushed the axe lever.

Goombon's eyes widened as the bridge began collapsing under her. "W-wait! Wait! This isn't fair! His Majesty won't be very happy about this!"

To her dismay, she didn't manage to get off the bridge in time and fell towards the lava.

"N-noooooo-"

With a _bloop_ , she disappeared into the lava.

Mario, Luigi and Yellow Toad gulped. "...you're-a ruthless," Mario muttered.

Peachette sighed. "Well, I mean, at most she'll just become a Bone Goomba, and another Magikoopa can always turn her back to normal." She looked at the ceiling with a frown. "Such is the way of life in this universe... the lack of complete death has made it so easy to commit such cruel acts."

"...that or you're a massive bitch," Yellow Toad muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, he was standing right next to Peachette.

"...hmmm?" the blonde clone voiced.

Yellow Toad paled. "Oh. Uh. Wait, Toadette. I, uh-"

Peachette picked Yellow Toad up and threw him into the lava.

"Toadette, you biiiiiiitch!" Yellow Toad screamed before he sank into the lava and disappeared.

Mario and Luigi gulped. "You're-a scary..." Luigi muttered.

Ignoring that remark, Peachette sighed happily. "Now I know why you guys always go on adventures... these really are fun!" she said joyfully.

 _No, it's because the princess keeps getting kidnapped..._ Mario thought.

 _She needs serious help..._ Luigi thought.

* * *

"What? Goombon already lost?" Lemmy said. A messenger Lakitu nodded, causing the Koopaling to sigh. "Man, what a disappointment. Oh well, time to get ready."

* * *

"Hm... take this!" Petal the pink Princess Yoshiette said and slammed the table. "Red +2, yeah!"

"It's called a Draw 2, loser," Bowser Jr. said.

"Draw 2, Mewtwo, whatever!" Magna the Princess Banzai Billette interrupted and slammed her card on the table. "I'm adding another green +2 to that and sending it to Princess Boo!"

"That's Queen Booette to you..." King... uh... Queen... um... Booette mumbled, and grudgingly drew four cards. "Can't believe we're playing fucking UNO on the second world rather than proceeding with our diabolical plans..." she said.

"Patience, young Jedi," Bowsette said and put down a green 8. "We must remain calm and clever if we do not wish to fall to the dark side."

Queen Booette stared at the blonde, unamused, whilst the others continued the game.

Chompie frowned. "Wait, aren't we technically supposed to _be_ the dark side?"

"...yes, but the point is as the dark side we should be viewing ourselves as the _good_ side..."

"The light side?" Petal asked.

"Yeah, something like that." Don't ask me, I don't watch Star Wars.

Eventually it became Petal's turn again. "Hmm... how about I use the +4 I've been saving up on you, Magna!" (No, it wasn't a question.) She proudly threw her secret weapon, the Wild Draw Four card onto the table. "I say blue!"

"Too bad, naive Yoshi," Manga said and chuckled. Then she threw down another Wild Draw Four card. "I also had a +4! Now this will be going to Princess Boo. I call red."

Queen Booette rolled her eyes. "I'll remember this..." she mumbled, and drew eight cards. "Your turn, Bowser."

Bowsette grinned. "Well, poor chap. It's time I shove despair in your face!" She placed down a red Reverse card. "I'm reversing this back to you! However- I also stack a red +2 to you!"

Perplexed by this stab in the back, Queen Booette glared at Bowsette, who stared back smugly. "I'll remember _this_ too, bitch..." the ghostly princess muttered and drew two cards.

Meanwhile, amongst the Koopalings- who were seated a slight distance away from the table- that were discussing and playing with other toys, Wendy turned around. "Daddy-kins, can I join the game now?"

"Like I said, Wendy, kids shouldn't be gambling!" Bowsette replied back.

"Ugh, okay..." the female Koopaling muttered and went back to doing whatever she was doing.

Everyone didn't seem to care about that exchange except Queen Booette. "You told them UNO is gambling?" she asked. Before Bowsette could respond, she pointed to Bowser Jr. "You'd let _that_ kiddo gamble?"

"Hey, I don't want to destroy anymore of her childhood with Wild +4 cards."

"...you could just... not use them on your daughter or sons."

Bowsette rubbed her chin. Then she shrugged. "Nah. Surely you jest."

Queen Booette groaned.


	15. Chapter 15

I'll say this in advance. If you spot many errors or crap in this chapter, well... haha, whatever. I don't got no excuse. (Yeah, _real professional,_ me.)

And no, I'm not too serious with this story. I don't give enough thoughts about word choice and plot line planning for this story. Hm.

* * *

"Okay, enough UNO," Bowsette said as she packed her cards. "We've been playing for hours, I'm surprised those blasted plumbers haven't gotten here yet."

"To be fair, the story's skipping their adventure scenes but realistically it would still definitely take hours or days to travel through a huge region-like area," Petal the Pink Yoshiette said.

"True, true."

Queen Booette frowned. "Wait, you dolt. We haven't even decided on how to ambush those creeps!"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Like I said, we're not setting up an ambush. That's in poor taste, _and_ we need a proper final battle after a long journey."

Her most competent ally groaned. "This is why you never succeed..." she muttered.

"Anyways. That reminded me... who should I put as the bosses of Layer-Cake Desert?" Bowsette asked.

"...bosses of what?" Queen Booette asked.

"Layer-Cake Desert."

"...what the flippin' hell is _that!?_ "

Chompie the Chain Chompette scratched her head. "I think, uh... it's the name of this area, the second world, isn't it?"

"That's right," Bowsette said. "Come on, Boobie. Just because we've got too many area names, doesn't mean we can go around forgettin' them. Right, girls?" she asked the two princesses, who were still tied up and unamusedly glaring at the villains.

Daisy raised an eyebrow. "Boobie?"

"Well, I figured calling her Queen Booette wouldn't work since I'm the only amazing queen here, and... oh, yeah, I see the problem."

 _One day I'm going to overthrow this retard..._ Queen Booette thought.

"...hey, Bowser," Peach spoke up. "Why don't you, uh, put a super weak enemy in charge? It might make Mario paranoid and catch him off-guard."

Bowsette rubbed her chin. "Hmm... that's a great idea..."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me..." Queen Booette growled and quickly zipped to the pink dressed princess. "You! Keep your mouth shut!" she yelled and slapped tape onto the princess' mouth. Where she got the tape from, nobody questioned because fiction logic.

Bowsette winced. "Wow, no need to be so harsh on my princess, girl."

Magna the Banzai Billette suddenly opened the door and walked in. "Hey, uh, Queen dude?" she said.

"Yeah?" Bowsette said. "...and call me properly."

"Uh, right. Queen Bowser, we've got a weird injured Pokey wanting to meet you."

Everyone exchanged glances. "...and _injured_ Pokey?" Petal said. "I don't think they should be moving around then..."

Magna scratched her head. "Yeah, same, but this one keeps insisting."

"Uh, sure. Let them in, whatevs," Bowsette said.

She opened the door again, and they saw a Pokey wiggle into the room, but this one had red spikes, was wrapped in bandages and had... uh... something that looked like white mustache on its face.

Everyone exchanged glances again. "...uh, hi," Chompie said.

"Greetings. This one is here to talk to His Majesty."

Bowsette raised her hand. "That's me. It's a her now, thanks to these crowns I've discovered."

The mummified Pokey tilted its body, then seemed to shrug. (The action it did to 'shrug' was basically tilt the other way very slightly as if representing a shoulder. Don't blame it, its body is just too plain to have shoulder control.) "This one sees. Putting that matter asides, this one would like to reintro-"

"Ah, don't bother, I remember you," Bowsette said. "How're you doing, Mummipokey? I haven't seen you since that time I hired you to stop Mario too many years ago."

Peach blinked. "...I still don't recognize it," she whispered.

Daisy stared. "...where'd the tape on your mouth go?"

The nearby Bowser Jr. shrugged. "Beats me. But yeah, I don't recognize the dude either."

Floating to the whispering bunch, Queen Booette gave them an odd look. "Gee whiz, I thought you guys would take better care of your memories."

"Well, it's not like I remember every single Toad in my kingdom," Peach said.

"Nor do I," Daisy said.

Bowsette, having been engaging in a catching up conversation with Mummipokey, turned to them. "Well, I don't blame you chumps, he appeared in only one game, literally. This is Mummipokey, the boss of the second world from that New Super Mario Bros. game on the DS."

"...wow, that is _old_ ," Bowser Jr. commented.

Suddenly, Mummipokey tilted its body again, seemingly appearing from behind Bowsette. "...this one recognizes you. Is this one correct in recalling you as His Majesty's son, Sir Bowser Jr.?"

The small reptile's eyes slowly widened. "Uh... yeah. Yeah, that's me." _What a respectful dude..._ he thought.

"This one is relieved to see you are fine." Mummipokey turned back to its boss. "Regardless, this one proposes to assist Your Majesty in his... _her_ new battle against those wretched plumbers again. This time," it said and paused, standing up straight with pride, "this one has done some sufficient training to become much stronger than before!"

Bowsette rubbed her chin. "Hmm... I certainly would appreciate your help, Mummipokey..."

Queen Booette rushed to them. "Wait, wait, stop. Hold on." She turned to the mummified Pokey. "What exactly does your 'training' consist of, here...?"

Mummipokey seemed to, uh, 'shrug'. "This one does straightening stretches and bending exercises to obtain a better grasp on movement and agility. Those plumbers won't be expecting this one's superb increase in battle abilities."

Queen Booette looked back at Bowsette. The Koopa queen shrugged, obviously finding that impressive, somehow.

With another long sigh-that-sounded-more-like-a-groan, clearly tired of her companions' idiocy, Queen Booette lookedback at their guest. "Right. Um. I'm sorry, but to be strictly honest, I'm not sure you'd perform any better than other Pokeys."

"...this one does not understand. An intense amount of training had been done," Mummipokey said after a long pause.

"Well, deary, I think the problem's more with the lack of moves you can pull off as a Pokey..." Peach spoke up from afar.

Mummipokey shook its head. "No, no, this one is rather confident in its greatly improved abilities. There is confidence backing this claim."

"I'm more curious if the plural should be Pokey or Pokeys," Daisy whispered to her partner kidnapped princess.

"Not now, Daisy."

"Fine..."

Queen Booette sighed. "Sorry, buddy. I really doubt you'd make any other difference from other Pokeys. "

"...this one... regrettably... does not know how else to convince you."

"Pft, you guys are idiots," Daisy said and rolled her eyes. Never mind the fact that she's still tied up and being kidnapped, she has the guts to call her kidnappers idiots. Ain't she brave, fellas? "Why don't you use one of those stupid crowns that you got? Oh, right. Got no more, hm?"

Everyone stared at her.

Then Bowsette rubbed her chin. "Hm. Actually... I believe I do have plenty left."

Peach turned to Daisy. "...nice going."

"...whoops?"

Queen Booette turned to the Koopa queen. "Well, what're you waiting for? Stick it on his head!"

"Patience, patience, jeez." Bowsette turned to one of her princessified minions. "Hey, um, one of you. Would you mind grabbing the bag outside? Those have plenty of Super Crowns in them, thanks."

Petal, Chompie and Magna exchanged glances.

"I'll go!" Petal and Chompie exclaimed. ("Not it!" Magna had said.)

The two stared at each other. "No, I'll go!"

Then, a brief moment of silence following, the two ran out the room whilst trying to push each other away.

Bowsette whistled. "Wow. They sure get along well."

"You think?" Peach muttered.

"...hey, wait!" Queen Booette flew over to the pink princess again. "How'd you remove the tape to shut your mouth?"

Peach shrugged. "It just... straight up disappeared."

"Pft. Yeah, right."

Bowser Jr. nodded. "Nah, Mama Peach's not lying. I saw it happen, one second it was there, the next it was gone."

Queen Booette growled. "This story gets stupider every second I'm in here..."

Immediately afterwards, Petal and Chompie reentered the room, pulling the bag towards themselves. "Lord Bowser! I got the bag!" they both shouted, and sent glares to each other.

Bowsette frowned. "I expected it in two seconds, not twenty, but thanks," she said and took the bag from them. "...since, you know, it was just... right outside the door."

"W-we just faced minor obstructions," Petal said with a nervous chuckle.

"Y-yep. An annoying, minor obstruction..." Chompie added.

The two glared at each other.

"...right. So anyways..." Bowsette turned to her guest. "Mummipokey. What say you become a princess and gain an amazing humanoid body for combat?"

The mummified Pokey tilted its body confusedly, before nodding. "This one would be honored to become a princess, if Your Majesty wishes for it."

"I don't know about you girls, but I think turning a mummy that sounds like an old man into a princess is hella creepy," Daisy whispered.

"Agreed," Peach and Bowser Jr. said.

Bowsette grinned and gently lowered the Super Crown onto the bowing Mummipokey's head.

"Alrighty then... say hello to a whole new world..." she said.


	16. Chapter 16

"Hmm... there doesn't seem to be anything of interest in here..." Booette muttered, flipping through the newspaper. She was currently doing her business in the washroom, killing her boredom by reading the latest update on the Marioverse news. Who writes that thing? Nobody knows, but it's available almost anywhere. What a mysterious world we live in. And- "What the- hey! Excuse me!? I'm _busy_ here!" Booette shouted, tossing the sheet down to cover her exposed parts.

Gee whiz, Booette, you're a ghost. You don't need to do whatever it is you're trying.

"I don't, but at least grant me my well-deserved privacy!" she added.

Acting like a lady now? Sheesh. What has this world come to?

"Hey, Queen Booette? What's going on in there?" a voice asked from outside.

"Nothing! Go back to doing your job!" Booette yelled back. She growled as she finished her non-existent business and got up. flushing the toilet, she exited the washroom. "Stupid fucking lack of respect... even the narration treats me like a joke... all fucking retarded idiots around me..."

People felt a bit weirded out by her rude mumbling, so most creatures there avoided her.

She walked all the way back to the meeting room. "Hey."

Bowsette smiled. "Ah, you're back! I'm not sure why you needed to use the toilet anyways, but hey. We're about to move on to our next plan."

The princessified ghost raised an eyebrow. "And what might that be?"

His... uh, her... ah, whatever. The crowned Koopa queen grinned and pointed to the sky ambitiously. Or, uh, the ceiling. "We're going to storm Area 51!"

Several gasps ensued. Bowser Jr., who certainly wasn't princessified yet, looked alarmed all of a sudden. "B-but wait, Papa! Isn't... uh, Mama. Isn't that... isn't that illegal!?"

"Son, I am the law. Nothing is illegal for me!" Bowsette replied.

Peach, still tied up, gave him an odd look. "Uh, no, I think it's illegal no matter who you are... and you'd be shot anyways. It's grounds for military training."

"Ah, but what if it isn't?" Bowsette asked. "Maybe they've got... you know... aliens."

Daisy raised an eyebrow. "You're a giant fire-breathing turtle dragon thing. You really want to see aliens?"

The Koopa queen shrugged. "Hey, I mean... aliens are neat stuff. Everyone would kill to see one."

"Um, your Excellency," Kamek said, "remember the Shroob invasion? We experienced an alien invasion first hand, sir."

"...well, okay, but-"

"We keep some Shroobs frozen in one of our castle's storage rooms, sir!" Kamek said.

Bowsette frowned. "Okay, okay, no need to shout... and call me ma'am."

"...right. Ma'am."

"Wait, you're keeping _what!?_ " Peach shouted.

Queen Booette, who was visibly growling this entire time, finally screamed in frustration. "Are you guys fucking kidding me!? You've been discussing plans based on a fucking meme!?" she yelled. "Why is this even being talked about anyways!? We don't even have an Area fucking 51 in our world! This is the Marioverse for fuck's sake!"

"Whoa there, calm down, Boobie."

She was obviously mad about that nickname, but the ghost princess managed to endure it. "And you! Author! Stop sidetracking us!"

Whoa, what? Turning to me now? That's uncalled for.

"This chapter was supposed to have come out months ago! You can't just get back on this shit and add in some recent memes and shit!"

Au contraire, I can, my darling.

"Giant fucking bitch!"

Peach and Daisy exchanged glances. "Someone's moody."

"I will end you, you fucking bitch!" Booette roared.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt," Daisy said, "but that just reminds me... speaking of recent-ish stuff. Didn't Nintendo kinda confirmed that the Super Crown can only be used by Toadette?" she asked. "...I mean, it just gives ten coins to everyone else."

Suddenly, as if reality being affected by her words, everyone in the room currently wearing Super Crowns reverted back to their original forms, whilst their Super Crowns turned into ten coins.

"Whaaat? No! No! Fuck... no!" Booette... I mean, King Boo screamed. "My fabulous form is gone!"

"I'm a Yoshi again..." Petal said, disheartened. "Aww..."

Next to her, Chompette reverted to her normal Chain Chomp form, her talent for language disappearing completely. ...of course, her gold chain remained, but nobody really cared, since it wasn't a Golden Chain Chomp, just a gold-chained Chain Chomp.

And then, Magna the Banzai Bill... "NOOOOOO! I'M BACK TO THIS CURSED FORM!" As if life hated her, her missile body began flying again and she couldn't stop herself from flying through the castle walls, exiting the castle unwillingly. "SAVE ME LORD BOWSEEEeeerr..."

Everyone began despairing over the loss of their forms, until Bowser slammed the table. "...no."

They all froze- save for Magna, who was already gone. "...no?"

Bowser nodded. "No. I refuse to accept this!"

"Uh, accept what?" Daisy asked, confused.

"This is... this is a fanfiction! This doesn't have to follow the rules of the real rules!" Bowser said. "People, I ask you- what do you wish for? To follow Nintendo's claims, or to follow me, and my reality-defying ways!?"

"...I'm saddened but I'm not stupid enough to join this farce," King Boo muttered.

The others, however, began cheering- and barking, in the Chain Chomp's case.

Bowser nodded. "That's right! I am against this sudden reality enforcement! We deserve our Peach forms... yes, we do! Besides, I have the right to keep the Peach forms going in this story. I'm the new president of America's Nintendo after all!"

"...wasn't it Doug Bowser, Ma... Papa?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"Pft. Who? Never heard of the chump," Bowser said.

Peach rolled her eyes. "Bowser, it's the guy whose Nintendo Direct you accidentally intruded on because you were so excited about your sudden promotion."

"LMAO (pronounced 'le-mao')! Oh my stars, you did _what!?_ " King Boo asked, before laughing hysterically.

Bowser turned red. "S-shut up! It was a mistake, alright!?" he growled at the ghost, and turned to the princess. "Princess, keep your mouth shut! That hasn't canonically happened in this uncanon fanfiction at this point of time yet!"

"Forget time, this whole story is a mess anyways..." Daisy muttered.

"Whatever! My point is, I use my right as the true Nintendo president to bring back the Peachifying effects of the Super Crown!"

A few seconds of silence passed.

...ah, fine. You won me over with that inspiring speech. Let's bring it back then.

Suddenly, everyone reverted to their princess forms, their crowns reappearing on their head. Since I'm too lazy to get rid of the coins, they all get the ten coins for free, but really, you can't do anything with ten gold coins. And Magna, who was already outside and far away from the castle... well, she'll have to walk back.

"Jerk move, but thanks!" Bowsette cheered. She grinned and turned to her minions. "And that's why you all should vote me for president. Hashtag MMGA. Make Marioverse Great Again."

"Oh my fucking- that isn't even a recent trend!" Booette screamed, her frustration returning.

Meanwile, Morton and Princess Mummipokey noticed the time on a hanging clock. "Morton thinks it time to go. Morton will leave now!"

"This one shall do the same," the princessified mummified Pokey added. The two bowed courteously towards Bowsette and exited the room.

Bowsette waved. "Right, right, good luck, stuff." She smiled and looked around. "...right, guess we're done with this world."

"No shit," Booette muttered.

The door opened again, and this time, a panting Magna the Princess Banzai Billette stumbled inside. "Ugh... my butt hurts..."

"No need to thank me," Bowsette said. "Anyways, let's move on to the next world..."


	17. Chapter 17

Meanwhile, in the first world's second/final castle...

"Stop right there, Mario sisters!" Lemmy yelled. "I've been waiti-"

"Sisters?" Mario asked.

The Koopaling blinked. "...oh, sorry. The concept of genders is kinda messed up for me, currently, with all this Super Crown thing going on."

Luigi nodded. "Yeah, that's-a pretty understandable. Now..."

Before the conversation could continue, Peachette (Toadette) frowned. "Hold it!"

Everyone flinched and turned to her. "W-what is it?" Lemmy asked.

The Peach clone sighed. "I... I still disagree with your decisions! I mean, sure, maybe you can accidentally call the two Mario brothers 'sisters' by accident... but you haven't even mentioned me nor Toad here!"

Lemmy stared. "...um, I've also, uh, been waiting for you... small Toad who became Mama Peach and yellow Toad dude..."

"What, I don't get a gender now!?" Peachette yelled. "This is discrimination!"

The Koopaling frowned. "S-sorry, geez! What is up with everyone today?"

Yellow Toad leaned to Luigi. "Why's she getting all worked up about genders now?"

Luigi shrugged. "I dunno. But she's-a scary alright."

"Wait, maybe she's-a stalling..." Mario whispered.

Peachette stepped towards Lemmy, who felt quite intimidated. "How _dare_ you! I demand respect immediately!"

Lemmy gulped. "S-sorry, Toad girl who became Mama Peach! I-"

"And don't even get me started on that!" Peachette said. "What if Peach is a trans woman? What if she wants to be a Papa instead!?"

"Lady, what the fuck!?" Lemmy screamed.

Lemmy began backing away, but as Peachette seemed to be heading to his right, he went to his right (her left) as well. They eventually circled one another, one completely fearing the other.

"And what if I'm trans too!? What if I want to be a boy mushroom!?"

"Mushrooms don't even have genders, what the hell!" Lemmy screamed. "I'm sorry! Please stop getting angry so we can get to the fight!"

Whimpering, he opened his eyes slightly to see Toadette/Peachette grinning at him evilly.

"...u-um...?"

"Sorry, that won't be necessary anymore," Peachette said. Then, whistling nonchalantly, she raised her leg and shoved Lemmy off the deadly battle ring. "Heh."

Lemmy's eyes widened as he began falling. "You giant biiiiiii..."

His voice faded.

The four remained silent all the while, until they heard a loud crashing noise.

"There, done with him," Peachette said. She then smiled at the group. "Shall we head on?"

Mario and Luigi exchanged glances.

 _Holy shit, she's-a crazy, bro!_ Luigi thought. _What are we going to do!?_

 _Just don't-a piss her off!_ Mario thought back. _Ever!_

"God, you are insane!" Yellow Toad said, to the chagrin of the two plumbers. "Am I right, Mario? ...Luigi?" Then he felt his body being picked up... by a certain temporary princess. "Uh oh, I know what's going to happen next. Toadette, stop! This is tyranny, I demand you to... author! Stop! I don't like where this is going, stop writing this sto-"

"Go to hell!" Peachette yelled and threw Toadette down the depths of the castle.

"Giant fucking biiiiii..." Yellow Toad screamed before disappearing.

Peachette smiled. "Phew, let's go, guys!"

 _Mamamia..._ both plumbers thought.

* * *

Bowsette scratched her head. "Uh... right, so latest intel. Lemmy had just lost, so... I guess those damned plumbers are on the way."

"Wait, what the hell?" Booette interrupted. "That was way too fast! They shouldn't even be at the end of the first world yet, and your son already lost!? What the hell!"

"Hey, that's life and war, buddy," Bowsette said with a shrug.

"Do you even care that your children are probably dying?" Booette asked, despite not actually caring herself.

The princessified king laughed. "Naw, they're fine. The Mario chumps wouldn't do something as serious as that."

"This coming from the idiot dropped into lava almost in every encounter?"

From afar, the tied up Peach and Daisy exchanged glances. "...I don't remember Mario or Luigi being this good and fast," Daisy said. "What if it's someone else?"

"Eh, sometimes Toads go on the adventure too," Peach replied. "Maybe together they're just that good."

"...when has Toads ever been as good as Mario or Luigi?" Daisy asked.

"...you make a good point, good ma'am," Peach said.

Rolling her eyes, Daisy channeled her inner fourth wall breaking power to access the latest news of our world. In other words, she's not actually doing anything. "Say, isn't this basically a storified version of that new coming Deluxe game?"

"New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe? I guess so?" Peach answered. "Why?"

"Wasn't that pink Toad girl also going to join the playable cast?"

"I mean, yeah. So?"

Daisy blinked. "I dunno, just wondering. Maybe she's some ruthless girl."

Peach raised an eyebrow. "...you think?"

"...nah."


	18. Chapter 18

"Hmm... let's recap," Bowsette said as she looked over her minions. First she pointed to her princessified Chain Chomp. "Hmm... Chompette."

"Y-yes!" the girl said and saluted.

 _...whatever._ Bowsette rubbed her chin. "...for convenience, you're Chompie now."

Chompie blinked, before breaking out into a huge smile. "T-thank you, Lord Bowser!"

Queen Booette raised an eyebrow. "Wait, wasn't she already named Chompie?" she asked.

Bowsette stared. "What? When?"

"Chapter 11. The author said they had her named Chompie behind the scenes."

The still rocking meme girl Bowsette rubbed her chin. "Huh. Really? Can't remember that?"

Booette growled. "Stars, you know you're a fucking joke when you treat your own stories like this."

Stop complaining, Booette.

"Great. Reusing gags too. What's next, some gay fanservice?"

"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Bowsette said and turned to Peach. "Hey, Princess! What do you think about staying with me now?"

Peach sent her an odd look. "I don't even know how or why you decided to get me involved in this, but I'm not going to get involved in this. To answer your question, you're still Bowser."

"Hm... what if I do this!?" Bowsette suddenly grabbed her top and ripped it in half, revealing her nude chest to the girl.

Peach stared. "...all you did was ruin an admittedly nice dress, Bowser."

Bowsette blinked. "Fuck, I thought she'd love this."

"What made you think I was gay?"

"Doesn't hurt to hope you're bisexual."

Peach groaned. "I can't believe we let this idiot kidnap us. Right, Daisy?" she asked.

"...mmhm. Yeah."

The Mushroom Kingdom princess raised an eyebrow and turned to her tied up friend, whose nose was bleeding from one hole. "Daisy!?" she exclaimed worriedly, but as fast as that worry came, a realization came to her. "...no way. Really, Daisy?"

"S-sorry!" Daisy apologized. "I-it's just, fuck. If you ignore the fact that it's actually Bowser, she actually looks really hot!"

"You're damn right I do!" Bowsette said.

Bowser Jr., who was looking out the window out of respect and embarrassment, cleared his throat. "Uh, Papa... I mean, Mama? Are you going to... uh..."

"Oh, right. New clothes." The princessified king clapped her hands, and two normal Koopas ran up to her, a new set of princess clothes for her to put on.

Peach stared. "Wait, if you get that dress from the Super Crown, rip it, and then put on a new dress..."

"...yeah?"

"..." Peach closed her eyes. "You know what? Never mind. I'm getting a headache."

Bowsette smiled. "Oh good! Then I shall nurse you back to proper health and try to turn you full gay in the meantime!"

"Why would you do that!?" Peach asked.

"To be fair, convincing a potential lover to stay by your side sounds pretty normal," Booette said.

"Not when you're a fucking kidnapper!" Peach replied.

"Huh. Touche."

Daisy blinked. "...nice."

"Dasy you gay bamboozle, stop ogling her!"

Chompie and Petal exchanged glances. "Bamboozle?"

"Yeah, don't mind her," Bowsette said. "Sometimes she's weird like that."

"Bowser, I swear to the stars, when I'm free, you're dead..."

Petal then remembered something. "Um, Lord Bowser," she said, "weren't we going to move on to the third world?"

"Huh? ...oh, right!" Bowsette looked around and nodded to her companions. "Alright, let's get going again. We don't want the nasty Mario brothers to catch up to us."

"Could've moved faster without all your stupid nonsense..." Booette muttered.

* * *

Mario stopped in his tracks and looked back. "...hmm..."

"What's-a the matter, Mario?" Luigi asked.

"...I don't-a know. I just feel like we're-a being... followed..."

Yellow Toad laughed. "Okay there, hero. Tone down your ego there."

Toadette rolled her eyes. "He means we're being followed or stalked by a potential enemy, dimwit."

"Oh. Uh, yeah, I knew that."

Luigi narrowed his eyes and made out a small purple hood seemingly resembling rabbit ears. "...uh oh. I think I-a know who that is..."

Yellow Toad laughed again. "Luigi, please. If anyone has a bone to pick with us, it won't be against you."

"Geez, rude much..." the green plumber muttered, slightly saddened.

"Toad, what the hell?" Toadette said. "He has his own game spin off series, for stars' sake. Luigi's Mansion."

"...oohhh right..." Yellow Toad scratched his head. "Sorry, buddy. Totally forgot there."

Mario cleared his throat, nervously looking back at the purple silhouette. "So, uh. Who is that?"

Luigi sighed. "It's... it's-a Nabbit. Kinda lowkey ally but thief, I guess."

"A thief? And he's on our side?" Yellow Toad asked.

"Toad, you were-a there too with me and Blue Toad."

"...man, I'm forgetting everything recently, aren't I?" Yellow Toad muttered. "...and wait, not to change the topic or anything, but isn't referring to us by color kinda... racist?"

"...uh, I'm not sure, really..."

Toadette, meanwhile, blinked. "Wait, so if this Nabbit guy's a thief... he must be planning to steal some Super Crowns, then."

Mario raised an eyebrow. "I'm not-a sure why you'd want to steal one when Bowser's-a giving them away everywhere."

"Well, why else would he be following us?" Toadette asked. "I feel like the guy's the sort of person to just rob Toad houses or some local department stores."

Yellow Toad recoiled in confusion. "Department stores? What is there to steal from a department store?"

Suddenly, Nabbit was standing behind him, to everyone's surprise. "What is there to steal from a department store...?" a mysterious, non-human sounding voice- in fact, an incomprehensible yet understandable (somehow) voice- asked.

The yellow spotted cap citizen blinked, some sort of catchy music slowly appearing from who knows where. "...okay, where's that music coming from?"

"Fool!" Nabbit screamed. "Do you understand nothing!?"

Catching onto the rhythm of the unknown music, the thief took in a quick breath.

Nabbit: "They've got Allen wrenches-"

Mario: "Gerbil feeders-"

Luigi: "Toilet seats-"

Toadette: "Electric heaters-"

Nabbit: "Trash compactors-"

Luigi: "Juice extractors-"

Mario: "Shower rods and water meters-"

Toadette: "Walkie-talkies-"

Goomba: "Copper wires-"

Nabbit: "Safety goggles-"

Koopa: "Radial tires-"

Toadette: "BB pellets-"

Luigi: "Rubber mallets-"

Shy Guy: "Fans and dehumidifiers-"

* * *

Bowsette: "Picture hangers-"

Peach: "Paper cutters-"

Petal: "Waffle irons-"

Chompie: "Window shutters-"

Bowser Jr: "Paint removers-"

Magna: "Window louvers-"

(Queen Booette: "What the fuck is going on here?")

Daisy: "Kitchen faucets-"

Kamek: "Folding tables-"

Ludwig: "Weatherstripping jumper cables-"

Wendy: "Hooks and tackles-"

Iggy: "Grout and shackles-"

Larry: "Power foggers-"

Roy: "Spoons and ladles-"

* * *

Geno: "Pesticides for fumigation-"

* * *

Toadbert: "High-performance lubrication-"

Toadsworth: "Metal roofing-"

Blue Toad: "Water proofing-"

Some random Toad: "Multi-purpose insulation-"

* * *

Link: "Air compressors-"

Meta Knight: "Brass connectors-"

Donkey Kong: "Wrecking chisels-"

Samus: "Smoke detectors-"

* * *

Piranha Plant: "Tire gauges-"

* * *

Pichu: "Hamster cages-"

* * *

Chill: "Thermostats and bug deflectors-"

Fever: "Trailer hitch demagnetizers-"

Weird: "Automatic circumcisers-"

* * *

Waluigi: "Tennis rackets-"

Wario: "Ankle brackets-"

* * *

Koopa Clown Car: "Duracell's and energizers-"

* * *

Yoshi: "Soffit panels-"

* * *

tmnkm: "Circuit breakers-"

* * *

Nabbit: "Vacuum cleaners-"

Toadette: "Coffee makers-"

Mario: "Calculators-"

Luigi: "Generators-"

All four: "Matching salt and pepper shakers-"

Yellow Toad shook his head violently. "STOOOOOP!"

Everything came to a stop, notably the random music that played from nowhere.

The four blinked as they stared at the panting yellow-spotted Toad. "What... what the hell was even..."

He looked over to each person, none who provided any answers and stared at Yellow Toad like he was the crazy one.

"...you know what, I'm not even going to bother questioning how we sang together with Bowser and the others, or even a whole different fandom character like Miku, or even with the author." Groaning to himself, Yellow Toad walked off, hoping to get away from these creeps.

Mario, Luigi, Nabbit and Toadette exchanged glances.

"...what's his problem?" Toadette wondered aloud, exactly what everyone else was thinking.

* * *

Queen Booette frowned. "Wait, didn't you just copy the gag from Code ME-"


	19. Adventures Galore! DX (part 8)

**Written: 2020/02/28.**

* * *

Hey.

Hey. If... if, uh, if Grey Fox had a favorite article of clothing... what, what would it be?

"..."

Grey Fox... Grey Fox would love... _grey socks!_ HAHAHAHA! COMEDY GOLD!

"...really? You get back to working on this story and _that's_ what you start with?"

The current setting was in one of Bowser's... uh, _Bowsette's_ many castles, this time within the third world. After having moved on from the second world, our group of heroines... uh, _villains,_ were now supposedly discussing who to put in charge of the third world.

But, uh, yeah. That's what I decided to do to bring back this story.

The one currently arguing, Princess Booette, scowled. "That doesn't even make sense here! This is a Mario fanfiction, it would've made more sense if we were in the Super Smash Brothers fandom, at least! ...right? Grey Fox appeared in there, right? Like, a trophy, or... something..."

Yeah, I wouldn't know, I don't keep track of that stuff.

Bowsette, meanwhile, scratched her head. "Uh, glad to see you enjoying conversation, buddy, but let's not derail our important meeting here," she said to her ally.

Princess Booette glared at the princessified turtle... dragon... thing. "Are you really telling me that I'm the one getting in the way of progress?"

"Uh, I mean, yeah, sorta."

"Yeah! If Lord Bowser says so, then you're the one disrupting our progress!" Petal the Sakura Yoshiette chimed.

Upon the ghost hissing at her, the princessified reptile... the, uh, not-king reptile, decided to wisely keep her mouth shut.

"You guys are literally just comparing your Pokemon card collection! What fucking progress are we making!?"

"Whoa, chill, girl," one of the captives, Daisy, said. "Jeez, no wonder Luigi's not fond of you."

"You shut your dirty, rotten mouth, Princess Dipshit!" Booette screeched.

"Whohohoa! That was good," Bowsette mused.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Good but weak."

Booette glared at her again, before whipping her head back to Daisy. "Listen here, you whelp! Right now, you're our _prisoner!_ Our captive! You might think the others are going to treat you nicely or some of that stupid eeny meeny miny moe crap, but I'm a true tyrant! With just one motion, I can make you _suffer!_ "

"...eeny eeny miny moe?" Peach, tied up right next to Daisy, asked.

"I need time to think of actual good insults," Booette explained.

"Well, sure, whatever you say," Daisy said. "Still not scaring me though. Empty threats are just empty threats."

"Bitch, watch what you say," Booette said. "Piss me off anymore, and I'll mess you up so badly, LouLou would rather come to my side instead."

The two actual princesses exchanged glances. "...LouLou?" Daisy said.

"Daisy, don't tell me you were cheating on Luigi and seeing another man. Who's this LouLou!?"

"I didn't! I don't even- Peach, what the hell! You know I wouldn't do that!" Daisy replied.

"That's what I thought until you showed how gay you were, droolin' all over Bowser's girl body!" Peach retorted.

"T-that was just because her body was hot! I'm not saying I'd cheat, I mean-"

"Shut uuuup!" Booette yelled.

Bowsette snickered. "What a mess."

* * *

"...hm." Toadette looked back, staring at Nabbit with a small amount of curiosity and a slightly larger amount of suspicion.

"What's-a matter, Toadette?" Luigi asked.

The (supposedly) female Toad, who was currently in her Peachette form, shrugged. "I dunno, just... that guy gives me bad vibes."

"That's preposterous!" Nabbit said. "I don't give anyone bad vibes! Why, my job is to give people bad vibes!"

"...is the guy high?" Yellow Toad whispered to Mario. "I feel like dude's high."

Nabbit was taken aback. "That is just rude, Yellow!" he said. "Why would you accuse me of such nefarious deeds!? Remember our friendship that we never had!"

"Bro, your friend's-a certainly... an interesting one," Mario noted.

"Yeah, he's-a kinda weird like that," Luigi said. "But he's really amazing at-a dodging, I tell ya."

"I certainly doubt that," Yellow Toad said.

Luigi gave him a confused stare. "You were-a there too, with Blue and me, and Nabbit, when Mario was on-a vacation. Remember?"

"Yeah, Yellow," Toadette chimed with a snicker. "What's the matter? Losing your memories? Would make sense if you had a brain to store memories in the first place."

"Well, I just..." Yellow Toad blinked, then turned to Mario. "I don't like her, she's bullying me."

Mario sighed. _I feel like a babysitter..._

"So anyways, where we headed to, fellas?" Nabbit asked.

"Uh, we just-a finished the last castle of Acorn Plains ten minutes ago, so..." Mario looked ahead. "We should be nearing the borders of Layer-Cake Desert."

"Cake, huh?" Toadette said, licking her lips. "I want cake."

Yellow Toad scoffed. "Better you don't. Stars know how heavier you can get," he muttered.

Mario and Luigi paled as Toadette stopped in her tracks.

"What did you say?" the original intended recipient of the Super Crowns said.

"Oh, boy, fucked up again, didn't I..." Yellow Toad grumbled.

"You sure did!" Nabbit said.

As the two Italian brothers watched the following friendly-fire onslaught, they sighed to themselves.

 _Those two will kill each other before we rescue the princess..._ the two thought.

 _What a funny lot,_ Nabbit thought.

* * *

"Look, I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about the Ultra Beasts," Petal said, "but if you actually thought for a second, these old cards can actually get you a lot of profit!"

In front of her, Magna the Banzai Bullet...ette...? Uh, princessified, scoffed. "I know what you're saying, kid! But I'm not too bothered by money issues. I just want what I think looks neat!"

"And that's fine! Get your Pheromosa card if you want!" Petal replied. "But don't just go around trading your ancient old cards for these new, not as precious, Ultra Beasts cards! Sell them! And then buy the ones you want later!"

"But I might not even get what I want if I went for buying normally!"

Booette raised an eyebrow, glancing over to Bowsette. "Progress, huh?"

"Hey, the economy of our kingdom ain't no matter to laugh at," the Koopa king... queen, replied.

"Economy doesn't specifically revolve around Pokemon cards, you twat!" Booette roared.

"Don't judge other kingdoms' economy structure," Daisy said.

"Like you know any better, you gay pansy!"

Peach cringed. "Whoa, careful now. You can't use 'gay' as an insult anymore, it's 2020."

"Yeah, _Miss_ Boo. Keep up with the times, why don't'cha?" Daisy chimed.

The ghost princess gritted her teeth, rage emanating from her fists. "I'm _this_ close to beating you up right now..." she muttered.

"You crook! Don't hurt a woman!" Daisy yelled. "This is why almost all of you men are always savages! Luigi's an exception."

"Uh, Princess Daisy?" Chompie the Chain Chompette (with golden chains) said. "Princess Queen Boo's... a woman."

"Super Crown, darling," Daisy said. "It's actually King Boo."

"Oh."

"Uh, anyways," Bowser Jr. interrupted, "that's nice and all, but... how much longer are we staying here?" he asked. "Sorry, Da... Mom, but I feel like... well, those Mario brothers might be getting a bit too... good at this. Can't believe Lemmy already lost..."

Bowsette chuckled. "Aww. It's alright, son." She gave her son a pet on the head. ...is it 'pet' or 'pat'? It's always bothered me. "Anyways, yeah, we should probably hurry this up, shouldn't we? Hey, Petal, Magna! Let's get back on track."

"Never was on the actual track of progress..." Booette muttered.

Meanwhile, Petal and Magna turned to their queen.

"S-sorry!" Petal squeaked, pocketing her trading cards.

"Eh, sure," Magna said and pocketed hers as well.

Peach blinked. "Wait, if they've only been turned into princesses recently, how do they already have their own Pokemon cards?" she asked.

Now that's a good question.

"Like hell it is," Booette said.

Stop complaining, Bing Koo.

"..."

"..."

"..."

...stop complaining, King Boo.

"Why does he even leave these mistakes into the story at all?" Wendy whispered.

"I dunno, but I want some of that whatever stuff he's high on," Roy said.

Your kids are rude, 'sette.

"Pft, naw. They're adorable," Bowsette said. "And who can blame them? They've got the best dad in the world right here."

"Mom."

"Yeah, mom," the royal Koopa corrected.

"Uh, don't we have more important things to be discussing?" Booette said.

"Oh, right. Third world, Sparkling Waters. Any volunteers?" Bowsette asked.

Everyone exchanged glances.

"...well, except you, Larry. You're in charge of the boss castle there."

"Yeayuh!" the Koopaling cheered.

"Hmm... what if we find someone new again, to become the midboss?" Petal asked.

Bowsette rubbed her chin. "Hmm... sounds fair enough, but that'd take time, and considering how fast those pesky plumbers are being this round..."

"Yeah, takes too long," Booette said.

"Nobody asked you for your opinion!" Petal hissed.

"Actually, we're asking everyone's opinions," Chompie said.

"Nobody asked for _your_ opinion!"

Daisy snickered. "Can't believe we're being kidnapped by these dysfunctional goons, am I right?" she whispered to Peach.

"Happens to me way too often for me to be surprised, actually," the Mushroom Kingdom princess replied.

"Huh. That makes sense, I suppose."

Booette sighed. "Oh, great. Now our hostages are doubting our power."

"To be fair, we _do_ have an amazing number of losses on our records," Bowsette said.

"That's not something to be impressed by!" The ghost looked around the room, before settling on Magna. "You!"

"What up, ghost lady?" Magna said.

"...you! You're the midboss for Sparkling Waters. End of discussion!"

The princessified giant bullet blinked. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me!" Booette said. "We're not getting anywhere, and we're in a hurry, so no talk backs!"

"But I can't swim!" Magna said. "I can't... I can't even breathe underwater! I've been flying my entire life as a Banzai Bill!"

"Yeah, well, sucks to be you."

Peach blinked. "Uh, darling, I don't think you need to be able to breathe underwater to, well, stay underwater."

"...are you really a princess of a kingdom?" Magna asked.

"No, she's right," Daisy said. "I mean, how else do you think everyone stays underwater for so long without even coming up for air?" she asked. "Actually, what even gave you the idea that you need to be able to breathe underwater in order to... well, breathe underwater?"

The black haired Peach-ified enemy blinked. "...because it's... underwater?" she asked. "Am I... am I missing something here?"

"I'm equally confused, don't ask me," Petal said.

"Uh, so, for simplest terms, let's just say that's how the Bowserverse works," Bowsette said. "Anyone can breathe underwater."

Magna tilted her head, clearly confused. "Uh... are you sure?"

"Yeah, even I've been traveling underwater for years."

Peach raised an eyebrow. "Bowserverse?"

"Sounds a lot better than Marioverse," Bowsette explained. "Besides, I'm going to rule over the entire universe anyways. Why not, am I right?"

"You're always right, Lord Bowser!" Chompie and Petal chimed.

Booette cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. "You all _do_ remember that the entire area of Sparkling Waters isn't _under_ water, but just _around_ water, right?"

"...oh yeah, right. Never mind that," Magna said. "I think I can probably handle this, then."

"...actually, can I be the midboss instead?" Chompie said, her hand raised.

Bowsette smiled. "Ooh, a volunteer. What's the occasion?"

"I've, um... never really been given the chance to enjoy life much," she said. "So, I've... actually never been underwater before... but now that Lord Bowser has given me this body..." Chompie smiled brightly. "I'd... I'd like to try this action called 'swimming'!"

 _Cute,_ Bowsette thought.

 _Cute,_ Daisy thought.

 _Cute,_ Booette thought. _Wait, no, not right now._ "Uh, sure. Then we're putting the Chain Chomp as the midboss for Sparkling Waters. Any complaints?"

Nobody said anything, some simply shrugging.

"Good. End of discussion! Let's move on so we can quickly get to the final world."

"Huh," Daisy huffed. "I thought you'd want to ambush Mario and Luigi."

Booette rolled her eyes. "I did, but this dimwit refuses to because of some stupid honor code. Remember?"

"Aw, thanks," Bowsette said, chuckling modestly.

"That wasn't a compliment."

* * *

"Hey, author, I have a question," Toadette said.

Yeah?

"Weren't you in the middle of rewriting this story?" she asked. "Like... up to Chapter 5 right now?"

Yeah, I am.

The pink capped Toad (currently lost her Super Crown because of some random stupid Pokey) rubbed her chin. "Then, wouldn't it be pretty confusing to update with a Chapter 19 right now, while you're also rewriting Chapter 6?"

Uh... huh. I don't think so. The rewrites don't really add much new content, so it should be fine.

"Wait, weren't you also writing these on-a AO3?" Luigi asked.

I am, yes.

"And you're only posting-a new, rewritten chapters there, aren't you?"

Yeah? What're you getting at?

Luigi and Toadette exchanged glances. "Well, how're you going to, well, post this chapter on there, then?"

Oh, that's simple. I won't.

Yellow Toad, his face currently beaten up black and blue, twitched. "...yhu vhon'dt?"

What?

"He's asking if you really won't," Mario said.

Oh. Yeah, I mean... it'd be confusing as hell. Plus, I'm more focused on other stuff on AO3 right now.

"Like what?" Toadette asked.

Oh, you know, the more... _adult_ stuff.

Nabbit snickered. "Whohohoa, we got a dirty little rascal over here, fellas."

I don't need to be lectured on what I write right now.

But yeah, I'll catch up on AO3 with the rewrites eventually, and _then_ upload the real ones starting from this Chapter 19.

Eventually.

"...well, that asides, another question," Toadette asked.

Sure, go ahead, shoot for the skies.

"...not sure what that was, but okay." She then pulled out another Super Crown out of who knows where, and put it on, reverting (transforming) to her Peachette form. "Are you just going to continue writing scene switches like this, as we progress the story adaption of Deluxe U?"

"It'th U Dhelugks," Yellow Toad corrected.

"Want me to correct your face for you?"

"Sthorry."

Yikes. Uh, well, I was planning exactly just that, but then I realized-

"It'd get boring and repetitive pretty fast if you don't show actual plot?"

Yeah, that.

"What, so, does that-a mean we're going to be getting more-a focus from now on?" Luigi asked.

I guess so. And maybe more notable events, like, I dunno, more team-ups and more cameos and... stuff.

Mario rubbed his chin. "Huh."

"...well, okay then," Toadette said. "Was just wondering. Wouldn't want the readers to miss out on my awesome skills after all."

 _Noob violent gorilla skills,_ Yellow Toad mentally corrected.

Toadette glared at him.

 _Uh oh, did I..._ "Whath?"

"Nothing. Just thought there'd be another witty remark from you."

"Nho ma'amb."

"Good."

Nabbit stared. _Toads sure have become quite a funny race._ Then he rubbed his chin. _Wait, was that racist?_

Not really, I... maybe? I dunno.

 _Okay, good._

And so the group of now-five moved on, finally entering the realm of the second worl: Layer-Cake Desert!

...with more promised action and drama to come the following chapters, because this chapter is getting long, and this story isn't supposed to have chapters that are long.

"Justh end dhe chabtur alfveathy..." Yellow Toad grumbled, his face still hurting.

Will do, friend.


End file.
